poor Obi

hey moddy, what happens next in nostringscanholdme, obi wan manages to see Cody? or Rex manages to reach it before disaster strikes? did vader feels something?

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Much to his utter relief and bewilderment, Obi-Wan has not fled so to speak.

Rex finds the Jedi sitting in the cockpit of one of the ships, simply staring at the view screen with his eyes lost and his hands in his lap.

Behind him, Dume is shifting uncertainly but Rex can’t bring himself to think of the boy right now as he instead slowly approaches Obi-Wan and rests his hand on the others shoulder.

He gets a flinch, Obi-Wan clearly coming back to the situation at hand as he looks up at Rex, the two staring mutely at each other.

Finally, Obi-Wan spoke. “I want him back… how dare Vader use him like that…” He whispered, tone utterly wretched and broken and Rex let out a small noise before crouching down and hugging the Jedi, running his hand over Obi-Wan’s messy nerftail, stroking it carefully before resting his arms around him.

“I know. I know it hurts. He was your commander and my brother. Seeing him like that…” Rex trailed off, Obi-Wan letting out a little hitched breath before letting out a small sob against Rex shoulder.

When he had come back to Homebase, the first thing he had done was start searching the hanger, looking into every ship.

Because while the others knew Obi-Wan, Rex knew him best, both the man he was during the war and the man that had come out of Vader’s clutches broken but healing.

The only other people that knew Obi-Wan as well as he, would be Cody and one Anakin Skywalker.

Which is why Rex had made a direct beeline to the most derelict of the ships, already knowing the history of Anakin and Obi-Wan to know that this was the ship the other man would choose, this was the ship the other would be in.

The one he would try to fly.

And he had been right.

Where the others hadn’t been able to find Obi-Wan as he locked himself down from the Force and removed any trackers, Rex found him because he didn’t need any of those items to find his Obi-Wan.

Pressing their cheeks together, Rex let out a small noise and then shifted, until he could reach and pick up the other man, settling his hands below each of Obi-Wan’s thighs. And Obi-Wan’s arms came up around Rex neck in response, a muffled sob escaping into Rex shoulder as the former captain stood with the Jedi in his arms.

Turning while adjusting his grip on Obi-Wan, Rex gave Dume a long look as he gazed at them with his mouth open.

But instead of saying something, Rex just started walking, moving forward with Obi-Wan in his grasp.

He was meet by Helix on the outside of the shuttle, the medic face becoming one of pure relief as he watched the former captain with the Jedi.

“Take care of him.” Rex murmured to the medic, nodding to Dume, the former padawan freezing in place when he saw another clone.

Helix however just nodded, giving Dume a small smile and gesturing for him to follow as Rex moved off with Obi-Wan in his arms. Along the way to his quarters, several troopers stopped what they were doing, clearly having been on search too.

Relief covered their faces and several went for their comms to inform others that Obi-Wan had been found.

The troopers always reacted with extreme prejudice anytime any of their remaining Jedi were in danger or missing.

And to find Obi-Wan of all people missing, knowing that his fate would not simply be death but a return to his state as Vader’s doll?

Well, they were protective for a reason.

Rex pressed his cheek to Obi-Wan’s temple, awkwardly fumbling for his keypad when he reached his quarters only to breath out in relief when Lamb hurried over and helped him, the young clone getting the door open as he watched with large, concerned eyes.

Rex just nodded to his fellow blond trooper and stepped in, letting the door snap shut behind him as he stepped around the clothing items he had abandoned on the floor that morning.

He knew that they would have to talk about what Obi-Wan had almost done later, he knew that Obi-Wan needed a lot more help than any might have realized as he had almost run off and into a known trap but right in that moment all Rex did was to sit down on his bunk with Obi-Wan straddling his lap.

Both hurt, the knowledge of where Cody was and yet the helplessness in knowing they couldn’t rescue him.

The helplessness in knowing it was a trap.

Rocking Obi-Wan, Rex didn’t promise things were going to be okay.

Because he couldn’t.

Because he couldn’t promise that they could rescue Cody.

So instead he just rocked him, crooning quietly as Obi-Wan sobbed harshly into his shoulder, the noise echoing of Rex quarter walls.

Bilde | Posted on av swmoddy

taylart-x:

A little bit of Padawan Obi-Wan angst after having just finished the prequels. Not completely sure about the shadows and the colouring, but oh well, couldn’t figure it out to make it look right to me. So here it is anyway. Stay safe, everyone 🙂

Bilde | Posted on av swmoddy

taylart-x:

A little bit of Padawan Obi-Wan angst after having just finished the prequels. Not completely sure about the shadows and the colouring, but oh well, couldn’t figure it out to make it look right to me. So here it is anyway. Stay safe, everyone 🙂

AWOL Jedi. Okay but I’m curious about Obi-Wan’s thoughts on Anakin. Bc he tried to talk to him about this stuff. Bc he loves Anakin. How does he feel about leaving him behind without even a message?

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Coughing, Obi-Wan opened his eyes to a dark ceiling, blinking
bemusedly at it for a few moments before finally rolling onto his
side and letting out a shiver as he felt his entire left leg being
icy cold.  ‘I must have stuck it outside the blanket…’ He
muzzily thought as he blinked into the dark room he was in, his
thoughts slowly and steadily coming back to him.

And the larva from the
day.

If Obi-Wan was to take a
guess, based on his fragmented memory, that larva’s ink had quite
the properties in humans at least.

‘Cody must have looked
after me and tucked me in come night.’ Obi-Wan smiled into the dark
before shuffling, squinting in the dark to find that he was in the
tent he shared with Mace, though the man was not there.

But bless Cody, a bottle
of water was, sitting innocently on the crate beside Obi-Wan’s bed.

Snatching it, Obi-Wan took
several gulps of pure, lukewarm water, a tang of iron in it
indicating that it came from the vaporators and not the ice.

But it was still bliss as
he let it moisten his throat, swallowing hard before setting it back
down on the crate and then settling back down, staring sleepily into
the darkness of the tent.

Considering the muzzy
sensation of the Force, if Obi-Wan was to take a guess, it was
honestly in the middle of the night, so where Mace was, he had no
idea.

Not that it mattered, Mace
was a big boy and could take care of himself as Obi-Wan settled back
to sleep.

He ended up staring into
the dark, his sleepy mind bringing up memories of Anakin.

His heart twisted and
Obi-Wan swallowed thickly.

He hadn’t wanted to
leave the other behind, not really but Cody…

Precious Cody had quietly
taken him aside after speaking to the council, his amber eyes full of
mournful determination as he quietly begged Obi-Wan not to say a word
to the blond.

“Not only is he married
to a Senator and has children with her, he’s also been lying for years to you even if you knew. He didn’t know that you knew and he
kept her a secret, who knows what he told her?” His face was so
serious, even in Obi-Wan’s sleep mussed and heart aching mind. “And
for that matter, his actions now a days hasn’t been inspiring much
trust in him either, for one how he left the temple and then his
actions after. You must have told him about the attack and how people
are behaving towards the Jedi, how did he react?”

Stifling a sob, Obi-Wan
rolled onto his side and pulled his knees up to his chest, clenching
his eyes shut.

It had hurt so much, to
realize he couldn’t rely on Anakin.

It had been them, the
team, against the rest of the galaxy even when Anakin didn’t seem
to understand, when Obi-Wan had been pulled in two between his duties
in the war to try and achieve peace and then between his love for
Anakin.

“When was the last time
Anakin chose you over Senator Amidala? Or even the late Chancellor Palpatine?”
Cody had quietly asked.

It had been like a blaster
to the heart.

Obi-Wan had been choosing
Anakin over the order for years, keeping the boys secrets, holding
him when things were dark and being there when the boy needed him.

Only to be pushed away
every time he extended his hands, for Anakin to hold grudges over
rightfully awful things that Obi-Wan did but to keep them forever as
if Anakin hadn’t done awful things.

The Hardeen mission had
been the hardest and most awful thing Obi-Wan had done… but Obi-Wan
knew of a dark Tatooine night, Obi-Wan knew about the stains on his
brothers soul and he knew about his relationship to Senator Amidala
and yet still kept an open door to the other.

Held his arms open and
lent a listening ear if only Anakin would…

‘I tried… I kept
telling him that I was there… wasn’t I clear enough? Should I
have done it somehow differently?’ Obi-Wan stifled a tired sob low
in his throat, his heart aching as he wrapped himself up in the
covers while wishing desperately he had his brother still with him.

Why did life have to be so
complicated, all he wanted was to still be the Team, to be them
against the galaxy.

To be able to trust
Anakin.

Why couldn’t he trust
Anakin.

Why could he never rely on
those he trusted the most?

Why did Qui-Gon and Anakin
both turn their back on him when he needed them the most?

‘Why aren’t I enough?’
Obi-Wan couldn’t help but wonder, wondering what flaw was so
terrible in him that they couldn’t accept it.

Itstartswithblood What kind of bond? *wiggles eyebrows* Also how freaked out are people going to be over Obi’s age?

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Shuffling
in front of the man with the fresh bond throbbing lightly between
them with new emotions that were quickly being shoved
out of the way and shields being pulled into place by both, Obi-Wan
peered uncertainly up at the tall Jedi as he left his old life behind
but carried the knowledge his masters had imprinted.

Master
Patia had promised that they would visit him from time to time but
Obi-Wan couldn’t help but worry, he knew that it would take a lot
of work for them to be able to appear.

It
meant that he would have to gain a new network, a network of living
people and it made Obi-Wan very uncertain despite all three gently
assuring him that he would be doing so much better in the Jedi
temple.

That
he would socialize with others.

But
they had also warned him not to fall too much into the Jedi mindset,
lest he lose his balanced connection to the Force. Viruta had, for
once, very seriously spoken to Obi-Wan about to complication of going
either too far in either the dark or the light.

“There
must always be balance. Day does not exist without night. Shadows
need light. Heat would not be without coldness.” He had murmured
seriously before running his static feeling hand over Obi-Wan’s
cheek carefully.

They
couldn’t really touch them, the touch was only a static sensation,
like wind on his face or coldness breaking goosebumps out on his
skin.

Now
he wouldn’t have them daily and instead he had…

What
did he have?

What
did this bond mean?

He
knew it was a bond, Master Patia had been explaining to him for years
and years that he should have a bond to them but as they were dead,
they were unable to grant him a proper learner bond.

But
there were more bonds than just those.

So
what did he just get to this man he did not know and had only just
meet?

What
did it mean?

Nervously,
he bowed a bit, even as he kept his face as neutral as possible.
“Greetings
master…” He trailed off, questioning, peering up at the man.

The
long haired man stared back at him before bowing slowly. “Master
Qui-Gon Jinn, young Kenobi.” He murmured, his deep brogue soothing
to Obi-Wan’s nerves on some level and
yet there was something… something in the others eyes and face.

Reluctance.

Just
a small smidge of it, mixed in with resignation.

It
confused Obi-Wan admittedly as he blinked up at the man, tightening
his grip on his bag before turning his head at a call of his name,
turning to blink at Master Patia.

She
smiled at him, wandering over. “I see you’ve already managed to
find a master Obi-Wan, so quick. And a natural bond even.” She
marveled softly before leaning in and pressing their foreheads
together, the soft static tickling his skin as he stood perfectly
still so not to fall through her.

He
found it rude. But he also blinked in surprise as he realized what
she said. “I did?” He murmured quietly, glancing at Qui-Gon Jinn
from the corner of his eyes. “I have?” Obi-Wan blinked hard as he
poked at the bond in question, murmuring a quick apology when the man
flinched.

“Why,
yes, it seems you do young Kenobi.” Qui-Gon murmured, elbowing the
dark skinned man beside him.

And
then he reached out and dropped his hand on Obi-Wan’s shoulder.

It
felt like he had been electrocuted.

Like
the time he had been trying to fix the filter machine in the temple
on Tython and Viruta had accidentally turned the machine on with his
proximity, electrocuting Obi-Wan.

It
almost hurt
and yet Obi-Wan never wanted the man to remove his hand despite going
ramrod stiff under the touch with wide eyes.

And
by the way Qui-Gon’s own eyes widened before he slowly and steadily
reached out with his other hand until he could pull Obi-Wan to his
chest and curl that one around Obi-Wan’s back, slowly rubbing the
back of his neck, the man had felt him through the slowly minted
bond.

“Oh
dear, you… you poor thing… it’s alright. Nothing’s going to
hurt you here, you’re not alone here.” Qui-Gon murmured lowly,
meant only for Obi-Wan with the bond between them opening enough for
assuring emotions to suddenly be thrust at Obi-Wan even as he
remained stiff against the man’s shoulder.

Trembling
faintly, Obi-Wan stared into the beige folds, smelling tea and
something musky along with a sweet under note as he pressed closer
despite remaining stiff.

This
was a touch?

Had
a touch ever
felt like this?

Obi-Wan’s
breath hitched, the memory of his father’s fist something far off
before he pressed his face into the folds and tried to relax, hands
knotting into his new master’s
tunic.

He
missed the concerned
gazes of the Jedi and
master Patia’s knowing yet heartbreaking one and
just
focused
on the touch.

Focused
on Qui-Gon touch and his and Patia’s soft voices as
his body buzzed with the touch to the back of his head and his
shoulder.

Please please *please* can we have more de-aged obiwan? Specifically WhenYouWereYoung, with the clones dealing with Baby Obi?

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Picking
his General up from the travel cot, Cody glanced towards the still
sleeping Jedi then winked at his little, swaddled
General, heading out of the tent with the hiccuping baby Jedi.

Who
was smiling with pink gums on display and Cody guessed the hiccuping
noise might be the General’s attempt at a laugh.

Tucking
him up against his shoulder
since the other was wrapped up in one of the soft blue blankets
Skywalker had brought,
Cody took in the warm sun before peering aside
at Obi-Wan. “Seems there’s a lot of nice sun right now, very
bright this planet.” He murmured quietly, ignoring as everyone
outside perked up at the sight of their General as he focused on the
chubby little face as he stopped the hiccupingish noise but continued
to give that gummy smile.

Skywalker
had kind of been hogging him since he arrived and Cody was going to
take his chance to steal his baby General now that he was awake and
Skywalker wasn’t.

Beside,
it was around feeding hour anyhow and Cody was going to feed him and
also check on his diaper.

So
he made his way over to the medtent, humming faintly and ignoring how
he got a tail of people coming after him, Obi-Wan supported up
against his shoulder.

He
heard the hiccuping noise again and felt Obi-Wan’s body shake a bit
and Cody had to bite his own lips to avoid snorting because he could
guess what was going on behind him. Someone was making a silly face
for their General.

It
wasn’t really actions one should do towards their commanding
officer, however, the 212th
were in a rather peculiar situation.

The
General had baby chemistry even if his adult mind were
in their, his attention often flickered and bright things held it
along with people.

Skywalker
had confessed that the other was embarrassed, maybe ashamed but he
was accepting of their actions, understanding that they were trying
to comfort even if his baby brain was doing its best to trip him up.

Along
with his own insecurities.

‘But
we don’t mind looking after you.’ He settled his cheek against
the little head on his shoulder, stepping into the med tent as
Obi-Wan cooed in disappointment.

Helix
glanced up as Cody transferred Obi-Wan from his shoulders to his
arms, the medic instantly perked up when he saw who it was, moving
from his portable terminal to greet both Cody and Obi-Wan, grinning
down at him as he wiggled his fingers in front of Obi-Wan.

This
time the coo was rather more happy as Obi-Wan flailed his hands at
medic.

“He
needs a diaper change I suspect, would you start the bottle?” Cody
questioned, smiling sadly when Obi-Wan’s face twisted in
unhappiness.

Yeah,
there was one of the insecurities and embarrassment Skywalker had
mentioned.

‘Or
maybe shame. He can’t do anything right now but let us take care of
him, it won’t sit well, not with the kind of man he is.’ Cody
cuddled the baby as Helix nodded.

“Course
Commander, I’ll be happy to. The temple was helpful enough to send
me a copy of the file and according to their notes, the General is in
better shape than he was when he arrived. He’s actually eating
properly.” He sent his General a sympathetic look before moving to
get the formula mixed and in bottle.

Cody
meanwhile moved over to the bed they were using to change Obi-Wan on,
the diapers, a trash can and the rest stationed in hands reach for
the occasion until they were to leave. There were also a few spare
outfits in case there were… accidents.

Luckily,
this time the little onesie was completely dry as Cody wrapped him
out of the blue blanket, amused to find the black onesie with
lightsabers on.

Skywalker
had really gone all out in getting clothes and things.

Cody
had to wonder, even as he carefully undressed his General, having
gotten used to the how to change a baby by now, if these lightsaber
onesies existed before the war or not.

Didn’t
really matter but they were cute and Cody wondered if there were
adult versions of the onesies.

‘Would
not shock me after that outfit Gearshift showed up in, who knew there
were adult onesies shaped like krayt dragons…’ He mused
thoughtfully while throwing the diaper away, giving his General a
soft smile.

Obi-Wan’s
lips were quivering and big fat tears were rolling down his face,
which was likely not improving his mental situation but…

This
had to be done, they couldn’t leave Obi-Wan in a dirty diaper.

But
he could be swift and effective, making sure Obi-Wan didn’t
experience the humiliation for too long before he was back in Cody’s
arms, being cuddled protectively.

It
was times like this he wished he had a bond to his General like
Skywalker had, that he could talk to him, reassure him somehow and
not just talk at
him.

But…

Cody
would try, cuddling the other to him and nuzzling gently at the soft
tufts of red hair on the others head. “It’s okay. I’m here.
You’re alright General… I’m right here for you.” He
whispered, knowing Helix would give them space.

Just
for now as they tried to wrap their General in their care.

For Dearly Departed, how is Obi-Wan doing now that he’s back in temple?

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Hissing
loudly in pain as the needle slid in, Obi-Wan clenched his other hand
down on Qui-Gon’s as his eyes watered from what he knew shouldn’t
hurt as much but did at the moment. He was slowly coming down from
the over-sensitivity of his ‘awakening’ as the council and anyone
else had started to call it.

But
he was still very sensitive to impressions, still didn’t quite
handle anyone but Qui-Gon or Anakin touching him and Force, opening
himself up to the Force was a recipe for catastrophe frankly.

He
could feel everything
if he actually opened up to it and didn’t just passively allow it
to fill him, Yoda
describing Obi-Wan as having been rubbed raw by the Force in a way
when he was brought back to life, his dead body being given the tools
to breath and piss but that still didn’t mean he handled it well
and he certainly did not handle the Force well.

He
had given himself a seizure two days ago when he tried and that had
been under supervision of the entire council as no one was certain
how Obi-Wan would react and still
it went wrong, first
by him going into a seizure and then leaving him catatonic for close
to half a day.

Qui-Gon
had expressively forbidden any trials until they were more secure in
Obi-Wan being able to manage such a sudden burst of influences,
feelings and sensation from the galaxy and
Obi-Wan couldn’t help but agree.

‘Least
I can shower properly now with both sonic and water… that’s
improvement.’ He thought to himself as the healer removed the
needle, having gotten all the vials of blood from Obi-Wan that was
needed.

A
dab of bacta and then cotton was applied and he was done, Obi-Wan
breathing out in relief before whining softly and raising both hands,
his free and the one being held by Qui-Gon, towards the other man,
silently demanding.

He
got a soft smile from the gray haired man and a quick response, the
man wrapping his arms around Obi-Wan in a gentle hug.

Settling
his head on the others shoulder, Obi-Wan sniffled a bit, nuzzling
into the warm neck that smelled of home.

“Is
that all?” He smiled into the warm neck as the sound of the other
speaking rumbled through him, filling him with pleasant warmth.

“Indeed,
we can’t really start with a physical therapy yet with his
over-sensitivity to the world but keep on helping him move about the
quarters and in the gardens until we can and things should improve.
And I heard that young knight Skywalker suggested taking master
Kenobi to the pools, I quite approve of that.” The zabrak healer
said in a cheerful tone.

Qui-Gon
shifted, clearly a nod before shifting Obi-Wan and pulling back to
undo the breaks on the hoverchair. “Alright, back to our quarters
it is. Anakin is waiting for us, something about herbed lotusroot and
veg-meat.” He said in a warm tone as he rested a hand on Obi-Wan’s
knee.

Letting
out a low noise, Obi-Wan nodded tiredly.

Clearly
that was something Qui-Gon caught onto. “And a nap I’d say.” He
murmured with a small frown before standing, leaning on his cane as
he said goodbye to Healer Biore.

The
creeping dread of feeling useless and a burden cropped up in
Obi-Wan’s mind, something he quickly tried to push away as he had
for the last two weeks since he started to take in the situation
properly.

But
he couldn’t help it, feeling too sensitive and shaken, unable
to really do anything but have Qui-Gon and Anakin help him and even
then he felt like such a burden to his bondmate and his semi-padawan.

Who
was an adult now.

Force,
how could the Force bring him back like this,
just to be a burden to those he loved.

A
hand rested on his cheek and he let out a low noise, looking up with
wide eyes as he noticed they were out in the hall with Qui-Gon
standing in front of him instead of behind him guiding the chair.
‘When did that happen!?’ Obi-Wan thought with some panic that got
smothered when the man spoke.

“Love,
you are no burden to me,” Qui-Gon whispered, rubbing his cheek
gently with his thumb even as Obi-Wan flinched a bit at having
broadcasted his thoughts clearly. “I would do anything
for you and you can’t imagine how my world has been since you
left,” Qui-Gon stopped talking, swallowing heavily. “You are a
gift my love, one I would never scorn.”

Staring
up at the other man, Obi-Wan lifted a shaking hand to his cheek,
covering Qui-Gon’s large palm with his before hiccuping. “I’m
sorry… I didn’t mean to leave, I’m sorry I’m broken, I’m so
sorry.” He whimpered out, crying when the other leaned down and
hugged him, the cane clattering to the floor as they cried into each
others shoulders in the open hallway in the temple where anyone could
have seen them.

“I’m
so sorry.”

“Don’t
leave me again Obi-Wan, just don’t leave me.”