panic attack

I just found candleinthedark and I’m in love!!! I do have one question tho- where’s Ashoka in all of this?

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“As you were then acolyte Tano.” Qui-Gon murmured, sending the teen off with the information, the girl bowing quickly before hurrying off with fast, force enhanced steps, already in the know about how vital haste was in the current situation.

As an older teen, young Tano was no longer an Initiate, not that Sith took children that young on normally, so she had moved up to acolyte to show she was ready for a master.

One of many acolytes…though Qui-Gon had the feeling he’d see the young togruta more in the future.

Not that it mattered in that moment, he had a redhead to find, Anakin sending him and the council messages as the two that knew Obi-Wan best got to work with searching.

Due to Obi-Wan’s behavior, the lack of troopers made their task harder along with Obi-Wan blocking out all Force bonds. There was also the issue of a communication distortion happening around the temple that could be the Force fault.

Though no one could quite figure it out and therefore the acolytes were being used to send messages between teams.

Luckily though, Anakin’s narrowing of the field did make sense to Qui-Gon.

A frightened animal, running of to hide, fight or flight in blind fear and panic and oh, did the memory of Obi-Wan’s utter fear make Qui-Gon nauseous to remember.

Some Sith may glorify and revel in fear and pain but Qui-Gon could honestly not understand that.

It just served to make him uncomfortable most times and sick in the case of Obi-Wan’s fear.

He wanted his boy back, to hide him from the galaxy that had been so cruel not only to their own Obi-Wan but to their Jedi Obi-Wan.

The galaxy hadn’t deserved his kindness and sometimes Qui-Gon doubted that he deserved it. But he was a greedy old man and the prospect of giving Obi-Wan away was terrifying him in manners he did not wish to investigate.

So instead he would search for his wayward little Jedi, to bundle him up in as many blankets as possible and keep him warm.

“…Let me find him. He doesn’t deserve to hurt anymore.” Qui-Gon murmured and held out his hand, pausing as he listened to the currents of the Living Force, settling down on the speeder as he listened to the flow if it.

Of course, he was not as good a driver as either Obi-Wan or Anakin was and had to keep a tab on where he was driving but… the Force was his ally and he was being guided a path.

Soft whispers telling him where to turn, where to shift and where to dive down.

Slowly, steadily, he made his path down, down, down, into the slums of Coruscant, further and darker and deeper. The scent turned from the lighter smells of air mixed with pollution to musky, wet and rawness that came with the deeper levels as Qui-Gon steered the speeder and swung around corners as necessary.

The sound of running water soon filled Qui-Gon’s senses, the smell of chemicals alerting him to a cleaning plant and the Force stopped whispering to him, causing Qui-Gon to step on the break before bringing the speeder down and parking it, looking around the area.

Dark, the sight of neon signs declaring that there were hookers to find in a brothel, decaying durasteel, dirt and waste and the occasional drug users leg poking out of an alley.

Lip curling, Qui-Gon took a deep breath through his nose, almost grateful for the water plant as it covered the scent of decay before he focused on the opening of the water plant, the locals leaving him alone the moment they spotted the yellow eyes and saber hanging on his belt.

Coruscant locals knew better than to mess with a Sith on a mission.

Passing by irate little droids working in the water plant, Qui-Gon breath hitched as he noticed purple, ripped fabric hanging onto a metal pole and slowly he reached out, gently puling it off to examine.

It was clearly Obi-Wan’s tunic and worse, there was blood drying on the ripped fabric. Stuffing the fabric onto his belt, Qui-Gon hurried further into the halls, all his senses stretching out for his little Jedi and finally he paused, tilting his head as he faintly heard a noise under the roar of running water.

It was barely there and if Qui-Gon hadn’t been paying attention, he might not have noticed at all but as it was, he followed, his breath hitching as he saw the sign of dirt and broken debris having been stirred by someone.

The trail lead to a broken beam with a small opening and reaching for his belt, Qui-Gon pulled his flashlight out as he knelt down.

Shining the light in, Qui-Gon’s heart sunk to the bottom of his boots as he caught sight of his Jedi, curled into the corner, his hands buried in his hair as he sobbed into his legs, his body shaking so hard it amazed Qui-Gon he was remaining upright.

“Oh Obi-Wan…” He whispered, his voice unheard over the roar of the water.

Qui-Gon had found their Obi-Wan, but now what?

To me you belong, may I suggest a nice, traumatic PANIC ATTACK? Mwahahaha!

Posted on av swmoddy

For a long moment, both just stared at each other in shock, one not expecting the other awake and the other not expecting the person in front of him at all despite the scent.

Yellow and blue clashed.

It was Anakin, but Anakin was gone, his Anakin was dead and buried beneath Vader and Obi-Wan could feel his breath speeding up as he shuffled back against the headboard, his arms coming up around himself as a small whimper escaped him.

It spurred Vader into moving, the doors snapping close behind him as he moved forward, his brows furrowing.

The move had Obi-Wan letting out a cry, pulling his legs to his feet.

He had been found, Vader had found him on Tatooine and Force, where was Luke and Vader knew that he was an omega!

Coiling into a ball, desperately trying to hide away as he started to feel dizzy and air was struggling to leave his lungs, Obi-Wan wrapped his arms up around his head and burying his fingers into his graying hair.

Obi-Wan couldn’t breath, the scent of his padawan overwhelming all his sense-arms wrapped around him, hands ripping his own from his hair as a deep rumbling filled his ears, dragging Obi-Wan’s mind from his own mental screams as his face was practically mushed to a chest.

It was warm, it was bare, no armor or cloth at all and Obi-Wan scrabbled a bit against the sheets before whimpering and falling into the chest as the arms kept him pinned.

The scent of his padawan wrapped around him tightly, protectively, Anakin’s flesh and mech hand resting on his back and rubbing along his spine as warm skin beneath his lips and nose forced Obi-Wan to focus on the moment.

“Damn it Obi-Wan, you need to breath, come on master, you need to breath, in and out, in and out.” Vader’s voice was tinged with a bit of hysteria, still alpha rumbling into his ears as he held the Jedi tightly.

He sounded so concerned…

‘Why, he hates me… he said so himself. He hates me. He killed everyone…’ Obi-Wan shuddered before letting out a hitching sob, his hand awkwardly going to his own mating gland, feeling the unbroken skin even as he couldn’t summon up the strength to keep upright.

There were still slick between his cheeks, however there was no soreness nor was there any signs of an alpha manhandling him.

Confusion set in, even as Obi-Wan felt tears streaming out of his eyes as panic just gave way for an overwhelming mix of emotions, his hands awkwardly gripping Vader’s biceps.

Nothing had made sense in the galaxy in over a year, things hadn’t made sense really in the war but at least he had Anakin then.

What was he suppose to do now?

()()()

Well, he hadn’t expected the omega to go into a full on panic attack to the point he had started ripping at his own hair but then again, maybe he should have.

Not only had Vader removed him from his nest but the last time Obi-Wan had seen him, they had been trying to kill each other and Vader had told him that he hated him.

Unable to think of anything else, Vader had chucked his armor and shirt, crawling onto the bed quickly to both restrain and calm the omega down with his scent, Obi-Wan reacting to the scent as a promise of safety even now that he was no longer heat addled.

Once he had calmed down however from his panic attack, breathing properly instead of holding it, Obi-Wan had started to cry and this left Vader even more at a loss.

He had been expecting Obi-Wan to snark at him, to become snippy and slightly angry yet remained dignified.

What he instead had was a trembling, crying omega against his chest, moisture rolling down Vader’s pecs as more and more tears joined the path already made.

It was bound to make Obi-Wan dehydrated at this point but Vader didn’t dare stop him.

Emotions were hard and it was such a rare sight to see Obi-Wan emotional, he didn’t want to stop it despite the sight of the crying man sending a sting through Vader’s broken soul.

Instead he eased his grip a bit and continued petting when Obi-Wan didn’t give a sign to start tearing at himself again. “Its alright, you’re alright Obi-Wan, you’re not going to be hurt. I’m not going to hurt you.” Vader whispered assuringly, ignoring the way Obi-Wan gave his bonding gland a rub and the sickening sweet scent of Obi-Wan’s distress.

Had he been Obi-Wan, he would have checked his gland too.

Instead, Vader pressed his lips Obi-Wan’s temple and continued to murmur soothing nonsense, his hand straying up and down along the others spine.

There would clearly be no talk just yet, Obi-Wan consumed with his all his emotions and Vader helpless to really aid him.

What happens next in candleinthedark? Do they find out about what happened in obi’s universe?

Posted on av swmoddy

Carefully pulling Obi-Wan along, Anakin’s mind was buzzing with
thoughts and questions about what the hell had happened in the
other universe.

Obi-Wan’s
words did not put anything to rest and only gave Anakin more
questions but the more important thing was to get Obi-Wan back to
their quarters right now. Luckily, it seemed that people were still
respecting the unspoken ‘give the Jedi space’ rule.

And
maybe Obi-Wan and Anakin’s Force signature was enough to get people
to back off and only watch or give waves in greeting.

Even
the class coming down one of the corridors split up to let them past,
Obi-Wan blinking owlishly if a bit red eyed at the sight of Sith
children.

He
didn’t pause though, only stumbled along with his hand in Anakin’s
grasp, clearly just exhausted from crying into Anakin’s chest
earlier and wanting rest and tea.

If it
wasn’t for the beard, he’d look like a wide eyed child with his
small stature and soft hair curling around the ears from it growing
since his arrival.

Neither
spoke, even as they stepped into the elevator, Anakin pulling Obi-Wan
to his chest and tucking him under his chin to hold the other tightly
to him. His natural instincts of protectiveness and possessiveness
kicked into high gear as more than ever, he realized that Obi-Wan
could have been dead.

And it
was the clones fault.

How?

Why?

The
troopers adored the Sith and Anakin had difficulty imagining
that it was much different in Obi-Wan’s universe.

Their
personalities weren’t shifted that much from the little he had
managed to get out of Obi-Wan and the memories he had seen, though it
had surprised and amused him to see Cody as Obi-Wan’s commander.

Still,
from what he had been able to see, the clones adored the Jedi just as
much as the clones adored the Sith in Anakin’s universe.

So
what had happened?

‘He
took my Anakin… he… which he? Palpatine?’ Anakin narrowed his
eyes at their reflection in the polished metal door, watching how
Obi-Wan was resting against him. ‘Is Palpatine an issue for us in
every world?’ He tightened his grasp on the other.

It was
a disturbing notion, the idea of Palpatine pretty much haunting their
lineage.

Anakin
still remembered the ‘kindly’ old man that tried to become a
confidant, that he had ever so gingerly started to trust only to have
it thrown in his face when they discovered their Obi-Wan.

But…

What
if their Obi-Wan had not been murdered?

Palpatine
had been on his way to becoming Chancellor, what if he had succeed in
little Jedi Obi-Wan’s world?

What
if no one knew he was the enemy?

It was
a horrifying but also illuminating thought and he would have much to
speak to his master about once Obi-Wan was resting.

‘We
speak more about him when he’s resting or asleep than we do when
he’s awake. We really need to rectify that.’ Anakin mused to
himself, stroking Obi-Wan’s back and smiling when he got a small
measure of comfort through their bond.

For
all that he didn’t come looking for it, Obi-Wan did like being
touched kindly.

And it
did bring him comfort.

You
wouldn’t know that from simply looking at his face though, no
outward sign of his comfort showing.

Shifting
a bit, looking down at the other with a small, comforting smile,
Anakin drew the Jedi’s attention. “How about we get to our
quarters and have some tea?” Anakin murmured, Obi-Wan blinking at
him before nodding with a weak smile. “We can change into silky pjs
and curl up on the couch to veg out a bit, become couch potatoes? We
can watch that documentary Qui-Gon suggested.” Anakin stated
quietly.

He
monitored Obi-Wan closely, feeling the shifting emotions that finally
settled on a bit of positive hope and longing. But out of Obi-Wan’s
mouth came a stiff. “That… sounds nice.”

Yes,
what Obi-Wan showed and said and what he actually felt and thought
were extremely different and Anakin grinned a bit wryly as he pushed
Obi-Wan carefully out the opening elevator door, eager to get Obi-Wan
settled.

A
glance to the windows they were passing confirmed to Anakin that it
was still sunny outside, kinda nice for Coruscant despite the
durasteel buildings and the filth below the top and if there was more
greenery outside, Anakin might actually bring Obi-Wan outside again
to enjoy.

He
could bring Obi-Wan to the gardens but right now Obi-Wan needed
privacy honestly.

They
turned the corner to their lodging only for a ripple in the Force to
race through both Sith and Jedi, Qui-Gon’s low voice reaching them
as their eyes came to rest on the man himself.

And
Commander Cody.

“Oh
shit!.” Anakin cursed, both clone and Sith turning to face
them as Anakin’s head snapped to look at Obi-Wan instead.

Having
a clear look at Obi-Wan’s face and his emotions through their bond,
Anakin was an audience to his reactions.

The
way Obi-Wan’s pupils first shrunk and then rapidly dilated to the
point almost no color was left, the way he turned ghost white as his
eyes were unnervingly stuck on Cody with his hands spasming as the
rest of his body went taunt as a bowstring, his teeth grinding
soundly enough to make Anakin wince.

But
more than that was the emotions pumping, hidden below, horror, fear,
shock and an all consuming panic.

Obi-Wan
was moving before Anakin could react, panic stricken and adrenaline
fueled movements with Force enhancement making him faster than
anything.

The
Jedi turned on his heel, facing the windows and Anakin barely had
time for a choked yell before the windows, all of them, broke under
the pressure of Obi-Wan’s fear as he waved his arm, several people
crying out in shock and pain.

Barely
bringing his arms up in time to shield himself from the worst of the
glass, Anakin hissed as he felt it stick into flesh while wind
flooded the hallway with the stink of Coruscant’s polluted air
reaching them.

Lowering
his arms, Anakin let out a full cry as Obi-Wan jumped out the open
window, his panic now flaring loud and clear in the Force as he let
himself fall, bloody glass all that was left after him.

“OBI-WAN!”

I just read your latest installment of AWOL Jedi and ugh, I love it so much! Obi was angsting about not being able to trust Anakin and not being enough for him or Qui-Gon. Please tell me someone picks up on this and reassures him? The Jedi and clones are rebuilding together, it’s time to heal and reassure, right? RIGHT?!

Posted on av swmoddy

Gasping as he was pulled up, Obi-Wan let out a whine as he weakly
tried to pull away, crying out against a shoulder before he realized
that he knew this smell. Sharp, musky and undertone of sweetness that
came from the temple detergent they had taken with them.

The body holding him was
warm and hard and with a muffled little sniffle, Obi-Wan shakily
fisted the others tunic as Mace held him in the dark of the tent, a
warm rumbling voice speaking into his ear. “I don’t know what
happened Obi-Wan, but you’re alright, you’re safe. I’m here.”
The master of the order murmured.

Realizing he must have
been projecting out into the Force, Obi-Wan nodded into the others
shoulder, knowing Mace would never ask ‘why’ the other was
behaving in such a manner and simply offer the comfort he could.

Which Obi-Wan would accept
as he curled more into Mace warm body, shuddering as light slowly
turned on enough to give the room a dim glow from the lamp hanging in
the ceiling of the tent they shared.

A quip about frivolous
Force use passed through Obi-Wan’s mind but didn’t pass his lips
as he instead opted to press his face into Mace neck, letting out a
hiccup.

There were no tears,
regardless how bad Obi-Wan felt, he didn’t cry this time.

He had spent too many days
crying over Anakin and his choices and too many years crying over
Qui-Gon’s rejection.

A warm thumb stroked over
his exposed temple, a soothing motion that helped with his other
pressed to the other man’s chest, Mace rumbling deep in his chest
with his heart a steady beat.

It was a good noise, deep
and steady and soothing as he curled closer into the warmth until he
was literally sitting in Mace lap, seeking comfort.

Steadily, he managed to
match his breath and heartbeat to the steady one of his friend, only
now noticing how rushed it all was compared to the calm tattoo of the
master of the order.

Letting out a shuddering
breath after who knew how long time, Obi-Wan eased his grip on the
others tunic without fully letting go, his knuckles aching from the
death grip he had on the dark fabric moments earlier.

“Better?” Mace
murmured, swiping his thumb over Obi-Wan’s temple once more before
sliding down his neck in a calming motion. Thankfully, when Obi-Wan
nodded, Mace let him remain close with his head settled on the
shoulder, let him draw in lungfuls of musky air into his lungs.

Obi-Wan couldn’t help
but be grateful, feeling weak and bereft as he was. It wouldn’t
shock him if he was left even worse without a grounding touch.

“You were quivering so
hard the bed rattled when I arrived,” Mace continued, his large,
callused hand resting on the back of Obi-Wan’s neck, the warmth of
it a comfort. “And you were holding your breath. I was worried…”
He breathed out, not finishing his sentence before he shifted,
Obi-Wan able to feel the shift of the Force.

Another display of
frivolous Force use as Mace summoned the half drunk water bottle
Obi-Wan had sipped from earlier.

He set the bottle tip to
Obi-Wan’s mouth, carefully tipping it so Obi-Wan could take a few
sip to moisten his shockingly dry mouth.

How long had he been
spiraling to be that dry in his mouth?

Obi-Wan hoped no one else
had caught him projecting into the Force, regardless how grateful he
was for Mace support as he drank most of the bottle of water the
master held to his lips.

Finally, he managed to
glance up, finding Mace watching him with a serene expression,
concern in dark eyes. “Thank you… for…” Obi-Wan awkwardly
licked his chapped lips before sighing deeply.

Quirking his lips into a
thin smile, Mace sent the bottle back to the crate as he gave
Obi-Wan’s neck a supporting squeeze. “You are my friend Obi-Wan.
I won’t ask what happened, what you were thinking to get you there,
especially after the day you had,” Obi-Wan colored a ruddy color at
the reminder of the ink incident leaving him high. “I will however
ask if you wish me to stay?” Mace eyed him closely, dark eyes
searching Obi-Wan’s very soul for any signs of deception or call
for help, the dim of the tent casting shadows over his face.

Blinking uncomprehendingly
for a moment, it took Obi-Wan an embarrassingly amount of time to
catch on to the offer but when he finally did, he colored even darker
even as he nodded. “I would… be grateful if you did, if it’s
not an inconvenience.” Obi-Wan choked out

A small chuckle, not
mocking but just genuinely amused, escaped Mace. “I wouldn’t have
offered if it did.” Mace stated before shifting, using the Force to
remove his boots and send his footwear over by his bed.

His belt, sash, outer
tunic and robe followed moments later, resting folded on the bed, all
without Mace letting go of Obi-Wan until he was finally comfortable
with laying down.

These field bunks weren’t
made for two grown men but they made due, Obi-Wan tucked in against
Mace larger body with his head pillowed on the man’s collarbone,
Mace warm arm tucked protectively around the redhead’s body as
Obi-Wan made himself as small as possible.

It reminded Obi-Wan of his
creche days and the piles Initiates often ended curled up in for
comfort, of happier and easier days when life wasn’t so complicated
and his worst issue was Bruck Chun’s bullying acts.

“Sleep Obi-Wan, your
dreams are guarded.” Mace stated, his voice rumbling deep in his
chest as Obi-Wan’s head rose and fell with every deep breath of the
man’s lungs, his heartbeat a steadying lullaby.

If asked later, Obi-Wan
couldn’t say if it was the warmth, the promise or the utter
security in having another person against him, but regardless of
which or a mix of it, his eyes soon closed as an utter calm swept
him, keeping his mind blissfully blank as he finally fell asleep.

What does Knight Moddy change for Anakin?

Posted on av swmoddy

He
needed to breath, he couldn’t breath, there wasn’t enough air in
the office for him to breath
and yet Knight Moddy was simply sitting there, staring at him calmly
with that stupid box in her lap.

Gilded
chains?

His
mother got gilded chains?

She
got married to a slave master!?

Why…
no, no Anakin knew why.

On
Tatooine, it happened often enough, master’s or mistresses who fell
in ‘love’ with their slaves and slaves, desperate and uncertain
what to do after a live in slavery, accepting the proposal because
they had no idea what to do.

Very
few slaves really, genuinely loved their slave master or mistresses,
regardless how kind they were. They had still bought a living soul
and kept them in chains and some slaves just didn’t know what to do
once they were freed.

But
Knight Moddy could… could interrupt that, how? Why?

Because
it would change the ‘plot lines’ of Anakin’s life!?

What
was she seein-

“BREATHE,
Skywalker.” The knight suddenly said, her voice stern and maybe a
bit angry but it helped, Anakin sucking down air so sharply it hurt
thanks to the Force suggestion.

And
he continued breathing, taking shaking breaths in through his mouth
and letting out through his nose as Obi-Wan had once coaxed him and
taught him when he was having a panic attack and holding his breath.

In
through the mouth, out through the nose while counting his breaths.

“Tell
me three things you can touch.” Moddy suddenly said, watching him
with a small frown on her face, her purple painted lips pulling into
a taunt line.

Shuddering,
Anakin pressed his right hand to the soft plush of the armchair arm,
scratching slightly when he curled his fingers. “The chair,” He
rasped out, shifting his hand to the to the table, feeling the grain
of polished wood and the smoothness of it. “Table,” His left hand
shifted to his belt, slipping in to pull out the river stone Obi-Wan
had once given him, feeling the soothing sensation of Force in the
rock and the smoothness of water rounded rock. “My rock.” Anakin
breathed out shakily.

Still
watching Anakin closely, knight Moddy nodded slowly. “Good, how do
you feel?” She questioned more gently.

“…More
here, less…” Anakin shrugged, not sure how to verbalize how he
was feeling.

She
breathed out heavily through her nose, nodding again. “Good. I’m
sorry for springing it on you that suddenly Padawan Skywalker. I know
the last thing one suspects is for… well, like I said, I won’t
use my abilities on you unless you want me to.” She settled on
quietly, resting her right hand on her box.

Glancing
down at it then back up, Anakin gnawed on his bottom lip.

What
harm could it really do?

She
could, what? Pull the strings of fate so his mother wouldn’t be in
slavery, was that basically what she was offering?

But
what would happen to her if she did?

Where
would his mother go?

Would
Anakin see her?

It
sounded like Anakin would see her if her chains got gilded, if she
married a slave master.

But
what kind of life was that?

It
would lead to contentment, Anakin knew that most gilded slaves were
content if not outright happy but…

“What
would happen if you… interfered?” He finally whispered.

Shrugging
a bit, Moddy tapped her short nails on the box, the sound echoing
slightly to indicate that the box was mostly empty. “Honestly? It
depends on how I pull the strings and remember, the future is always
in motion.” Moddy stated calmly.

Glancing
uncertainly at her, Anakin frowned darkly, opening his mouth only to
snap it shut when she spoke up again.

“The
future is a large river but that river has many smaller ones, it
branches out, it hits a dam and creates many paths but only one
of those branches hits the main river again further along,” She
explained calmly. “Many opportunities but only one that ends up
happening.”

Taking
in the metaphore, Anakin slowly nodded. “So you can’t guarantee
what happens afterward is what you mean.” He finally mumbled.

“Bingo,”
Moddy gave him a finger gun with her left hand. “But what I can
guarantee you is that she leaves Tatooine, safe and sound, alive and
able to create opportunities for herself, I can guarantee you that
she ends up in the core worlds and I can guarantee you that you will
meet her in the future. Those three things, I can ensure happens
because you are suppose to meet her in the future, that is a set plot
point for you.” Moddy stated.

Blinking
at her, Anakin felt his mouth drop open.

He
would meet his mom?

On
a core
world?

A
world that had no slavery, that she at least would be safe from that
kind of life?

He
would meet her on a core world if he let Knight Moddy meddle.

“Please!”
He blurted out, sitting on the edge of his seat now, eyes wide and
pleading. “Please get her away from Tatooine!”

A
slow, gentle and warm smile that transformed the knight’s face,
Moddy suddenly seeming a lot kinder compared to her resting bitch
face that
Anakin was more used to seeing. “I can do that,” She murmured,
the box clicking open and two crystals, one pure deep purple the
shade of a night sky and the other the ever green shade of a meadow,
floating over her now upturned palm. “I can get her away from
Tatooine, Anakin Skywalker.” She whispered, her milky green eye
suddenly turning a glowing, bright green that matched the crystal.

Anakin
had a moment to wonder if he did the right thing, a moment to wonder
before the Force suddenly rose and crashed around him, air leaving
his lungs as if he was punched in the stomach by Darra during
sparring.

And
then he fainted.

Fallen for you: What Obi-Wan is doing isn’t good for anyone, that’s gonna come back and bite him in the ass isn’t it?

Posted on av swmoddy

Locking
the door behind him, Obi-Wan moved into the fresher and turned around
to face the door, avoiding the mirror as he pressed his back to the
wall, sinking down slowly until his rear hit the tiles.

Anakin
had finally fallen asleep after a while, Obi-Wan reassuring him and
holding his hand until the other was asleep. Only then did Obi-Wan
slip away when he was sure the other was asleep.

Because
you could only compartmentalize for so long and it was not healthy to
put it off forever.

And
this would be the only time he was alone come the morning.

His
thighs still hurt, he was pretty sure they were bruising up from
Anakin’s weight and the sharpness of his pointy
knees.

Anakin,
heavy on top of him, eyes glowing, his hands bruising and hurting
Obi-Wan’s arms.

Breathing
hitched at that, Obi-Wan pressing his hands to his face as he let out
a small whimper. He knew that Anakin wouldn’t hurt him but in that
moment, all he could imagine, all he could see wasn’t Anakin, the
boy he had taught for so long.

He
saw the man who had been hurting him, the man who had cut his clothes
apart, the man who had broken Obi-Wan’s hips and
then gone at him again.

Who
had violated him while laughing and grunting while Obi-Wan fought
against his own screams until he couldn’t hold them in.

Sobbing
silently into his hands, Obi-Wan wondered if he would ever get
comfortable and normal again in his own skin. Wondered if he would
ever heal enough to handle being held down without revisiting that
memory.

He
was a Jedi, things happened and they were at war
right now.

‘Anakin
would never hurt me and yet at that moment…’ Obi-Wan shuddered
and brought his knees more tightly to his body as he continued to
cry, tears trailing down his bared cheeks to drip on his night tunic.
‘Master, I wish you were here. You would have some kind of advice
or comforting word for me.’ Obi-Wan shuddered, hugging himself
tightly as he let his thoughts trail onto Qui-Gon and his master’s
large, warm hands, the way the man would rub uneven circles on
Obi-Wan’s back while whispering comfort, telling him that it was
alright for Jedi to cry, that you had to cope with your emotions and
feel
them, to not let them control him.

But
Qui-Gon was gone, Anakin was Fallen and Obi-Wan would never be fine
again in his life.

How
could
he be fine?

Pressing
his head back against the wall, Obi-Wan continued his silent sobbing
while pressing his hands to his mouth, desperately wishing that
Qui-Gon was there, feeling small and broken, like nothing more than
that failed Initiate that was sent to Bandomeer.

Breathing
speeding up, Obi-Wan forced his legs to push out along the floor
instead, trying to get more air down his chest as his body quivered
heavily, uncovering his nose while breathing harshly out through his
mouth, tears still rolling down his face as Obi-Wan broke down in
the fresher, unbeknownst to anyone else in the temple as the
Negotiator himself was nothing more than a broken shell having a
panic attack as he sobbed violently but silently.

He
wasn’t sure how long he sat there on the tiles of the fresher but
when Obi-Wan finally managed to settle back in his own head, he was
out of breath, his face was sticky and gritty from tears and his eyes
swollen and sore from all the crying.

Shakily,
Obi-Wan reached out for the sink and used it to pull himself up,
swallowing harshly as he looked at his tear stained and reddened
face.

His
sleep tunic was covered in wet dark sploshes and after a moment,
Obi-Wan let out a shaking breath. “…Some Jedi master I am, huh.
If only you could see me now Qui-Gon, you’d be so ashamed of me.”
Obi-Wan rasped
out the words before he laughed
emptily before turning the faucet on cold water, carefully washing
his face and cooling down his eyes.

Over
him, in the mirror, blue color flickered as a ghostly hand reached
out, hovering over Obi-Wan’s back without settling to touch. ‘I
could never be ashamed of you Obi-Wan, you
were the best part of my life and I was just too oblivious to see it
or tell you…
Oh my poor, always
so brave but foolish
padawan… I’m so sorry I can’t help you, you
need to seek help from those around you.’

The
hand sunk down on the tunic covered back.

It
garnered no attention and the ghostly man closed his eyes as a
grimace of pain crossed his face. ‘You need help from the living my
dearest padawan, for this ghost is nothing but that, incorporeal and
invisible…’ The old Jedi master mourned as Obi-Wan coughed
harshly, his body still quivering from his breakdown.

Freedomintruth- so What do the boys do next?

Posted on av swmoddy

Staring
at his master, Anakin tried to get the ringing out of his ears as
around him the chaos continued in
the Halls.

The
healers, after doing quick work, had taped Obi-Wan’s eyelids.

Apparently
because Obi-Wan’s eyelids would open on random spastic movements
along with the erratic movement under the lids and they didn’t want
them to dry out while the other continued to have the air tubes
clogged so far down his throa-

Shuddering,
Anakin rubbed his sooty and sore face, ears still ringing.

They
still hadn’t managed to find the evidence they needed but that
hadn’t mattered in the end because Palpatine had confessed
to Anakin of all people, trying to get him on his side and maybe at
one point that would have worked.

Before
the truth, before the attempts on Obi-Wan’s life, before Padme’s
confession that she was pregnant, before being educated to the entire
history of the true Sith’s which still made Anakin horrified.

He
had run right back to the council, to Obi-Wan.

And
now they were all in a state.

The
Rotunda had blown
up.

The
chips in the troopers head was still an issue but they, the council
and Anakin, hadn’t allowed enough time for the man to issue
commands to them and make the troopers do… something.

Anakin
still had no idea what but who knew what orders were lurking in those
chips that needed to be deactivated or removed.

The
half the council was injured, several senators, some aides and a few
visitors to the Rotunda.

Worst
of all was the youngling class on a field trip to the Rotunda,
several of them had been to close to the blast radius.

They
had all been brought to the temple regardless to receive specialized
treatment from worried healers.

Closest
to the blast radius however had been master Windu and Master Yoda,
both of them currently stuck in bacta tubes and somehow the old
master had never seemed as small as in that moment, bobbing in what
was frankly a huge bacta tube.

All
the bacta tubes were occupied, by senator’s, Jedi and one youngling
and at this point, with how close they were, Anakin was grateful that
there was only one.

But
because of how many injured, the healers were spread thin, even with
the clone medics coming rushing in to aid that meant that several
were being treated the old fashioned way.

Like
Obi-Wan.

Laying
on a medbay with his eyes taped shut, oxygen tube down his throat and
bracing for his ribs.

Like
Anakin, half his face bandaged and that blasted ringing in his ears
with no other noise reaching him as he dropped his eyes to the
explanation for all the medical gear attached to Obi-Wan that a medic
had been kind enough to write.

Because
Anakin couldn’t hear.

Because
Anakin had been too close to the blast radius and unlike Kit, who had
managed to cover up his ears, hadn’t been even a little bit
protected.

There
was a great chance that Anakin would never hear a single thing ever
again and he was trying not to think about that.

Trying
not to think about how Obi-Wan eyes might be suffering permanently,
so close to the blast.

Tried
not to think about how Windu had meet Palpatine’s lighting strikes
and Yoda had come up from behind.

Tried
not to think about that enraged echoing scream as the saber cut
through Palpatine before a sickly laughter had echoed and then just
white, white and noise and pain and fire-

Hands
were on his shoulders and Anakin looked up, his breathing hard as he
stared up with wide eyes at his Angel as Padme stood there in front
of him with her slender hands on his shoulders and throwing caution
to the wind, Anakin wrapped his arms around her waist and clung to
his wife.

She
was saying something, her brown eyes wide in return but Anakin still
could only hear the ringing and it all crashed in on him as he shook
and then started sobbing into her bulging stomach as it all crashed
in on him even as he tried to hold on.

He
was just so damn tired and with that thought he allowed himself to
break apart.

Just
one more broken and tired Jedi in the grand scheme really.

And
if Anakin had cared to look, he’d seen he was not the only one
being comforted by someone closer than the council may officially
approve.

Last we saw in Golden Petals ObiWan was still healing, and QuiGon had finished coughing the flowers up. Can we maybe see some more fluff between them as Obi recovers? Thank you!

Posted on av swmoddy

You
would think that as a sufferer of hanahaki, one would get tired and
even a bit resentful of flowers and maybe some did.

However
Obi-Wan was not among them as he carefully settled the golden flowers
into their new pot, carefully tucking the soil around with a small
smile on his face before taking the little mug of water to carefully
spread around the now re-potted golden
star flower of Coruscant.

Large
hands settled on his shoulders and Obi-Wan looked up, meeting
Qui-Gon’s tender gaze with the same smile that turned a bit soppy
at the sight of his love.

Running
one large hand over Obi-Wan’s furry cheek, Qui-Gon settled down on
the floor beside the other. “Pretty,” He noted with a soft tone as he peered at the flower, settling
his arm around Obi-Wan as the redhead leaned into his side. Quietly
they enjoyed the warmth of their quarters and the closeness of each
other in the calmness of their home before Qui-Gon finally broke it.
“Che says Anakin will be able to walk again with extensive
therapy.” He murmured in that deep brogue his voice became when he
spoke low.

Pausing
at the news, Obi-Wan let out a shuddering breath. “So Palpatine
didn’t… he’s really going to be alright?” Obi-Wan swallowed
harshly.

It
had come as a shock to them all when Anakin, after meeting with the
Chancellor, had suddenly come bursting into the council chamber
without regards for the meeting already in progress. However before
he could be scolded, the breathless and red cheeked knight had
blurted out the news.

The
Chancellor was a Sith. Anakin’s marriage. The children. But most of all the Sith in the Senate.

Obi-Wan
still had difficulties with that, even as he had gone with the team
to subdue the man.

Still
had difficulties as he remembered the fight in the Rotunda, jumping
from Senator pod to Senator pod.

Watching
a black shape fall fa-

“Breath
Obi-Wan, you need to breath.” A sharp voice broke through his haze,
making Obi-Wan aware of him holding his breath as he had been moved
into Qui-Gon’s lap instead.

Gasping
out, Obi-Wan felt a large hand on his chest, his back to Qui-Gon’s
as he trembled in a panic attack at the memory.

“Breath
with me love, one,” Qui-Gon demanded, a touch of the Force in his
voice that compelled Obi-Wan to obey as he breathed in.” Two.”
And out with his love, shakily repeating the move as Qui-Gon
continued counting, his chest rising and falling against the
redhead’s back until his heart came back under control.

This
was unfortunately a common occurrence since the Fall of Palpatine as
the media had come to call it after
learning about the true scope of the man’s actions, how he had been
both leading the Republic and the CIS side, feeding each side
information and plotting the fall of both sides for an empire,
the panic clogged in Obi-Wan’s chest at memory of just how far
Anakin’s seemingly lifeless body had fallen after engaging with
Palpatine as
Kit had fallen first after a round of lighting.

Shivering,
he turned in the others lap and hid in Qui-Gon’s neck with
the man’s arms sliding around him.

The
second Sith slayer in
the Jedi Order.

But
Obi-Wan didn’t allow his mind to linger on that, if he lingered, he
would remember, if he remembered, he would think about it and then he
would have another panic attack.

A
soft kiss was pressed to his forehead, the arms tightening around him
in a loving hug. “…Would you like to go see Anakin?” Qui-Gon
asked softly, smiling when Obi-Wan nodded into his chest. “Good, he
was so bored when I was there, we might want to bring one of those
puzzle games he liked so much and a pad with some other games for
when we leave.” He said teasingly.

Huffing
faintly in amusement, feeling drained from the panic attack, Obi-Wan
nodded before shifting a bit, reaching for the pot of golden flowers.

Carefully
he settled it up in the window sill, staring at it with a small smile
twitching at the corners of his lips.

And
to think this all started with flowers coughing out of his lungs.

Strange
how such things can change the course of destiny and allow others to
understand just how deep emotions can go, can allow for the tentative steps for change as the council was looking deeper at themselves and therefore ignoring the marriage and children for now and Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon’s obvious love for each other. “…Let’s go see
Anakin.” Obi-Wan murmured, finding Qui-Gon’s large hand to lace
their fingers together, feeling a gentle squeeze of callused and warm
hands.

it’s been a while but. Undeadwalking. do they get off the planet in time? is everyone okay? or what about the reactions from the jedi when they learned about the situation on the planet? or maybe padme’s pov during/after the senate votes to bombard the planet with only a few hours for the ones on it to leave? is the entire situation secret or does the general public know what’s happening – and that The Team are the ones on planet? (sorry, i just really like this au)

Posted on av swmoddy

Her
heart is in her throat as she rushes through the halls of the Rotunda
to
her office.

Everywhere
she looks, flocks of Senators and their aides
are gathered, whispering and hissing at each others in worry and
shock, all of them showing various signs of distress or agitation.

Some
outright anger.

But
all Padme can focus on is the fact that her husband and his men are
on that damnable planet.

That
Ahsoka and Obi-Wan are there.

They’ll
die if they don’t escape it soon.

And
if one of them is infected…

Her
heart thunders and she feels the urge to vomit, the horrifying image
of the undead stumbling around in a padded cell still playing for her
inner eye as she replaces the human woman with Anakin, super imposes
the rotten flesh and almost bluish skin onto her beloved husband.

She
had tried to vote against the bombardment but the fear had caused
many other senators to vote for the tactical bombardment, all of them
judging the planet a lost cause and most of them too scared of the
virus escaping to really give the Jedi and their troopers more time.

And
now Anakin is at risk once more.

But
for some reason this feels worse, this feels so much worse and it
takes Padme a long time to realize why.

Because
a blaster to the head is a quick death and then it is over for her
beloved husband, her dear Anakin who beams as bright as the sun and
loves her so dearly.

The
virus however will cook his mind and leave him an undead shambling
corpse that will hurt others.

It
will break her heart to see him like that and finally locked up in
her own office, Padme has a panic attack as she breaths harshly while
sinking onto her knees
with no one to turn to because how can she explain to anyone that she
hopes that Anakin is either fully healthy or fully dead?

She
can’t, even her own handmaidens would look at her as if she’s
insane, of that Padme is sure as she presses shaking hands to her
lips.

Her
husband is in trouble and there is nothing Padme can do to save him,
nothing she can send that would reach him in time, no weapons she can
give him, no crew, no ship, no information or kind words.

No
aid at all, Padme Amidala is no stranger to being helpless but in
this moment she can’t remember ever being as helpless as she is
right now.

‘Please
Anakin, please don’t take stupid risks.’ She thinks shakily as
she looks at her large windows, the Jedi temple far in the distance
as wet trails leak down her cheeks and coat the back of her hands and
as if in response to her tumultuous emotions the dark sky breaks open
and rain pours down.

It
is oddly fitting.

()()()

There
is something happening but Obi-Wan feels too horrid to get up and
check on the situation, his legs feeling shaky even laying down as he
was with Jesse and Waxer playing a card game and rather obviously
trying to distract him by talking rather loudly.

He
will only get in the way or distract someone he feels and that is the
last thing they need at this moment so Obi-Wan remains laying in his
area where all sick or injured had been settled aside, his braced
by rods
and
bandaged
arm resting on his chest as he listens to Jesse and Waxer discuss the
finer points of blaster rifle care and about the time Waxer had to
remove a leech from his own ass though how that leech managed to get
to the man’s ass he refuses to elaborate on.

If
Obi-Wan were to take a guess, he’d say it would have something to
do with the leech Boil managed to get near the groin area and certain
activities they were trying to get up to while in a semblance of
privacy only for the leeches to interrupt them.

But
hey, who was he to judge, both of them were consenting adults after
all and it made for an amusing story later on as Jesse certainly
agreed while laughing.

And
yet Obi-Wan couldn’t quite shake the mounting horror filling the
Force that was somehow overcoming the wrongness
of the entire planet thanks to the walking dead all around them.
Clearly something was wrong and normally he’d ask Anakin…

However
Anakin hadn’t returned since his last visit nor had he called
Obi-Wan to basically interrogate him how he was feeling and that in
itself was telling.

Anakin
was the biggest of worry warts and the only thing that could trump
his concern was the mounting pressure and panic of something
terrible.

Finally
Obi-Wan had enough of
the mounting horror in the Force
and sat up slowly, squinting
in the bad light of the warehouse towards
the two troopers sitting
on the floor with a crate for a table between them to hold their
cards with
a tired expression as he took in Jesse’s black eye and Waxer’s
durasteel
braced leg.

Along
with their pale complexion and panicked expressions it really
confirmed his thoughts.

Something
bad was happening. “…Please don’t make me ask outright.”
Obi-Wan stated softly and the two exchanged looks, both Jesse and
Waxer’s face turning even more concerned and sending Obi-Wan’s
stomach plummeting.

“…The
Senate has given the go on tactical bombing the planet, with or
without us, Skywalker is trying to get us off but we don’t have
long General.” Waxer finally confessed, his voice nary a whisper.

Staring
at the other, Obi-Wan opened his mouth then closed it, nodding
faintly. “…Oh.” He said, voice weak as the words tactical
bombardment echoed in his head.

‘Well,
at least we’re not gonna become zombies? Can you imagine our jaw
just hanging and swaying in the breeze?’ His mind chirped and with
that Obi-Wan lost it as he started laughing on the edge of hysteria,
covering his face with his good, functioning hand and hearing Waxer
yelp in panic and Jesse call for Kix.

If
there were tears mixed into that, no one called him on it.

it’s been a while but. Undeadwalking. do they get off the planet in time? is everyone okay? or what about the reactions from the jedi when they learned about the situation on the planet? or maybe padme’s pov during/after the senate votes to bombard the planet with only a few hours for the ones on it to leave? is the entire situation secret or does the general public know what’s happening – and that The Team are the ones on planet? (sorry, i just really like this au)

Posted on av swmoddy

Her
heart is in her throat as she rushes through the halls of the Rotunda
to
her office.

Everywhere
she looks, flocks of Senators and their aides
are gathered, whispering and hissing at each others in worry and
shock, all of them showing various signs of distress or agitation.

Some
outright anger.

But
all Padme can focus on is the fact that her husband and his men are
on that damnable planet.

That
Ahsoka and Obi-Wan are there.

They’ll
die if they don’t escape it soon.

And
if one of them is infected…

Her
heart thunders and she feels the urge to vomit, the horrifying image
of the undead stumbling around in a padded cell still playing for her
inner eye as she replaces the human woman with Anakin, super imposes
the rotten flesh and almost bluish skin onto her beloved husband.

She
had tried to vote against the bombardment but the fear had caused
many other senators to vote for the tactical bombardment, all of them
judging the planet a lost cause and most of them too scared of the
virus escaping to really give the Jedi and their troopers more time.

And
now Anakin is at risk once more.

But
for some reason this feels worse, this feels so much worse and it
takes Padme a long time to realize why.

Because
a blaster to the head is a quick death and then it is over for her
beloved husband, her dear Anakin who beams as bright as the sun and
loves her so dearly.

The
virus however will cook his mind and leave him an undead shambling
corpse that will hurt others.

It
will break her heart to see him like that and finally locked up in
her own office, Padme has a panic attack as she breaths harshly while
sinking onto her knees
with no one to turn to because how can she explain to anyone that she
hopes that Anakin is either fully healthy or fully dead?

She
can’t, even her own handmaidens would look at her as if she’s
insane, of that Padme is sure as she presses shaking hands to her
lips.

Her
husband is in trouble and there is nothing Padme can do to save him,
nothing she can send that would reach him in time, no weapons she can
give him, no crew, no ship, no information or kind words.

No
aid at all, Padme Amidala is no stranger to being helpless but in
this moment she can’t remember ever being as helpless as she is
right now.

‘Please
Anakin, please don’t take stupid risks.’ She thinks shakily as
she looks at her large windows, the Jedi temple far in the distance
as wet trails leak down her cheeks and coat the back of her hands and
as if in response to her tumultuous emotions the dark sky breaks open
and rain pours down.

It
is oddly fitting.

()()()

There
is something happening but Obi-Wan feels too horrid to get up and
check on the situation, his legs feeling shaky even laying down as he
was with Jesse and Waxer playing a card game and rather obviously
trying to distract him by talking rather loudly.

He
will only get in the way or distract someone he feels and that is the
last thing they need at this moment so Obi-Wan remains laying in his
area where all sick or injured had been settled aside, his braced
by rods
and
bandaged
arm resting on his chest as he listens to Jesse and Waxer discuss the
finer points of blaster rifle care and about the time Waxer had to
remove a leech from his own ass though how that leech managed to get
to the man’s ass he refuses to elaborate on.

If
Obi-Wan were to take a guess, he’d say it would have something to
do with the leech Boil managed to get near the groin area and certain
activities they were trying to get up to while in a semblance of
privacy only for the leeches to interrupt them.

But
hey, who was he to judge, both of them were consenting adults after
all and it made for an amusing story later on as Jesse certainly
agreed while laughing.

And
yet Obi-Wan couldn’t quite shake the mounting horror filling the
Force that was somehow overcoming the wrongness
of the entire planet thanks to the walking dead all around them.
Clearly something was wrong and normally he’d ask Anakin…

However
Anakin hadn’t returned since his last visit nor had he called
Obi-Wan to basically interrogate him how he was feeling and that in
itself was telling.

Anakin
was the biggest of worry warts and the only thing that could trump
his concern was the mounting pressure and panic of something
terrible.

Finally
Obi-Wan had enough of
the mounting horror in the Force
and sat up slowly, squinting
in the bad light of the warehouse towards
the two troopers sitting
on the floor with a crate for a table between them to hold their
cards with
a tired expression as he took in Jesse’s black eye and Waxer’s
durasteel
braced leg.

Along
with their pale complexion and panicked expressions it really
confirmed his thoughts.

Something
bad was happening. “…Please don’t make me ask outright.”
Obi-Wan stated softly and the two exchanged looks, both Jesse and
Waxer’s face turning even more concerned and sending Obi-Wan’s
stomach plummeting.

“…The
Senate has given the go on tactical bombing the planet, with or
without us, Skywalker is trying to get us off but we don’t have
long General.” Waxer finally confessed, his voice nary a whisper.

Staring
at the other, Obi-Wan opened his mouth then closed it, nodding
faintly. “…Oh.” He said, voice weak as the words tactical
bombardment echoed in his head.

‘Well,
at least we’re not gonna become zombies? Can you imagine our jaw
just hanging and swaying in the breeze?’ His mind chirped and with
that Obi-Wan lost it as he started laughing on the edge of hysteria,
covering his face with his good, functioning hand and hearing Waxer
yelp in panic and Jesse call for Kix.

If
there were tears mixed into that, no one called him on it.