He can sleep through the entire night,
that’s a change for the positive.
Or so both the mindhealers and Depa
tells him.
He can handle Anakin touching him
though if it comes without warning he does flinch if only ever so
slightly and Anakin is good at helping him remain on schedule.
Ahsoka helps too though that makes
Obi-Wan feel shameful, she’s not even fifteen and here she is
helping him try to recover. It makes him feel worse some days and
better other days. Worse because if there’s one thing Ahsoka does
not need in the middle of this war, it is to take care of her broken
up grandmaster and better because she cares for him.
He tries to take it with a grain of
salt and not hurt himself with the former knowledge, focusing on the
latter.
So he does better. He feels better.
He spars in the great salle where
people come and go and he moves through the halls and he meditates in
the garden. Obi-Wan is usually left alone when he meditates happily.
And that brings him to his next step.
The commissary.
He can hear the buzz of conversation
already as he slowly walks towards the hall, can hear Jedi who never
leave the temple, the younglings, the to old or the to broken. Can
hear the ones who have a few moments to breath on Coruscant.
Obi-Wan freezes outside the doors and
looks to the blond behind him quickly, eyes slightly wide.
“Don’t push more then you want to
Obi-Wan. Whatever you’re thinking in that copper head of yours, you
don’t have to do this.” The blond offered quietly. “Me and you
can have something to eat in your quarters like usual.”
“…I need to get better Anakin.”
He rasped out.
“Getting better doesn’t need
pushing to hard, to hard and you break yourself. You’re not made of
unbreakable star material Obi-Wan.” The knight reached out slowly
and rested his hand on the others shoulder. “We can go back if you
want to.”
“But I want to go in. You say I’m
making progress. Healer Liren says so too…” Obi-Wan swallowed
and then looked down. “No one in there is going to hurt me, not
on purpose.”
“Unthinking words can hurt just as
much as an action.” Anakin squeezed his shoulder gently. “If
you’re not ready, then you’re just not ready Obi-Wan. Come on, lets
go back to your place. I’ll even call up Ahsoka and see if she wants
to eat with us, shared meals always taste better.” He grinned
convincingly to the other.
“She must have other things to do
then to cater to a…to me.” Obi-Wan shook the hand off his
shoulder and then stepped through the doors of the commissary,
gritting his teeth a bit.
He could do this, he knew he could do
this. He was going to do this.
He got into line and grabbed a tray,
feeling more then seeing Anakin slide in behind him and grab a tray
too.
Thanks to his shaving, it took several
moments before anyone noticed him.
But when they did…
Well it was pretty clear by the hissing
whisper going through several groups of padawans which spread to the
Knights and then the Masters. By the time Obi-Wan had a full tray, he
could feel discreet glances towards him. He wanted to hide under his
bed at that moment.
“Master Obi-Wan.” He looked
up quickly and nodded to the voice calling for him. “Master
Mace.”
“Come sit with us?” The Korun
offered. “Its just me and Depa at our table and I’d like to
speak to you about some of the Senate legislation.”
“Of course, if Anakin is welcome
too?” Obi-Wan mouth felt to dry and his stomach was rebelling
against the thought of food even as he followed Mace to the table
with Anakin right behind.
And then he almost sighed in relief
when he felt most gazes stop. Okay, upside to sitting with Mace Windu
at least, no excess staring as he settled down with his back to the
wall.
“Are you alright Obi-Wan?”
Depa questioned quietly, peering at the pale man.
“I could do better.” Obi-Wan
confessed before carefully spooning some soup into his mouth. Over
his head the three other exchanged looks but made no comments as it
was up to Obi-Wan how hard he pushed.
“I was honestly hoping to be able
to leave the temple soon. Return to the field.” Obi-Wan offered
in what he felt was a steady voice while breaking apart a bread roll
to dip in the soup.
“That would depend on what Healer
Liren says Obi-Wan.” Mace cautioned quietly before changing the
subject to the legislation he wanted to speak about. Or at least
pretended he wanted to speak about. Obi-Wan gave his opinion while
crumbling the bread roll slowly on his tray until Anakin placed a
fresh one in front of him, giving a pointed look but saying nothing.
Obi-Wan forced down a few more bites
after that look and honestly felt a bit accomplished. He was out in
public, eating a decent sized meal. Perhaps he could convince Liren
to let him return to field…he hoped. At least he’d get to see the
clones then and…
No, no thinking of them right now. It
wasn’t like he’d seen them since the Whole incident.
()()()
Okay, when a Jedi comes tearing through
the clone barracks sporting a scowl, you tend to get a bit worried.
When that Jedi is Anakin Skywalker, you
jump out of the way and wonder what poor vod managed to piss of
Anakin Skywalker who likes them more then anyone else in the entire
Galaxy.
“Rex! Cody! Where in Force blasted
nutsacks are you two?!” He snapped before focusing on a trooper
with blue. “Fives, where is Captain Rex and Commander Cody?”
“I um, I saw them in the north rec
room sir?”
Fives and Echo watched the dark dressed
Jedi march away before Echo looked at Fives with wide eyes. “What
did those two do to piss of him?”
“My guess? Something with general
Kenobi.” Fives shrugged and nodded at Echo’s wince. “Yeah…”
By the time he reached them, someone
had warned them that he was arriving and he found them alone at a
table, a sabbac deck neatly cleaned to the side.
“General Skywalker?”
“Can one of you tell me why in
Force name you are both avoiding Obi-Wan?” He snapped at Rex who
had spoken to him.
“Av-we’re not avoiding him sir!”
Cody stood quickly, glancing at Rex before back at the General.
“No? That’s what Obi-Wan thinks.”
He glared at the two.
“Oh Koth.” Rex groaned,
dropping his head in his hands. “That wasn’t our intention.”
Okay, that was a saving grace for the
two. Anakin slowly calmed down. “What is going on?” He
grumbled.
“We…we didn’t want to push him
sir. He’s been through something…traumatic.” Well at least
Cody had picked up on Obi-Wan’s silver tongue while working with him.
“And the last thing he needs is us two trying to…”
“What he needs is support,
friends, being able to take his own decisions.” Anakin growled
before rubbing his chin. “But at least your actions came from a
place of concern. That’s something at least. Look, he misses both of
you and he thinks because of that karking vid that you two don’t want
to associate with him on a personal Level.”
“That’s not true!” Rex stood
quickly too now. “Sir.” He added and Anakin gave a snort at
the delayed title.
“Look just…call him, hear if he
wants to meet up or something. He does, so just show up at the temple
after you called him. He needs to remember that most people, the
people who cares about him doesn’t care about the vid. This is hard
enough as it is without people starting to avoid him…” Anakin
sighed. “He needs to remember that he’s cared for and that we
don’t blame him… he needs to heal.”
()()()
Tucking closer to the narrow chest in
front of him, Obi-Wan closed his eyes as he listened to Anakin’s
quiet voice, listening to him sing. It wasn’t a language familiar to
him and Obi-Wan had a feeling that it had to do with his slave
upbringing but he wasn’t going to question Anakin as gentle fingers
threaded through his hair, steady and familiar even if the touch was
one he hadn’t experienced before.
One moment he had been just fine,
sitting on the couch with tea in hand.
The other the world had closed in on
him and all he could think was how terrible he was, damaged and
filthy an-
Anakin had sat down on the other side
of the couch, talking quietly to him, coaxing him back to Coruscant
instead of a place far off in his mind before quietly offering to
hold Obi-Wan, arms open in welcome.
Obi-Wan had stared at them before
sliding forward and resting his face against the narrow chest, still
trembling faintly even as familiar arms wrapped around him and
started to slowly stroke his hair in a welcomed touch of affection
that never shyed away from Obi-Wan.
And then Anakin had started to sing,
quietly as he pulled the older man closer, offering more comfort in
his actions then words alone.
“…Depa and Kit aren’t like
this.” He offered quietly when the song ended.
“Depa and Kit has had years of
healing and coping. And people heal differently Obi-Wan.” The
blond offered in return. “Some people never recover. Not fully.
But you’re doing good Obi-Wan and you know I’m here for you. The rest
of the Council too.” Anakin teased the copper fringe. “Ahsoka
isn’t far away and you know that our troopers has your back.”
Obi-Wan burrowed a bit closer.
“And relapses are normal.”
Anakin continued. “Just…tell us what you need. Need space?
Okay. Need a hug? okay. Need to throw Yoda of the Council Tower? I’m
totally there for you.”
The older man couldn’t help but snort
in silver of amusement. “The latter depends on if he gets to
keep his hover chair or not…”
“I vote for not.” Anakin said
cheerfully.
“Oh Anakin.” Obi-Wan chuckled
quietly against the others clothes.