In the littlestars universe he see Obi-Wan not resenting Anakin, but we don’t actually see him loving him, he seems to take care of him out of duty (because it’s expected of him) not out of love, is it because he’s a jedi and attachments are no no, or because the trauma was just so big he doesnt’ know what to feel? That boy needs a soul healer ASAP.
“Remember, I’ll
have my comm link on and the bond will be open at all times, just
contact me the moment you need me.” Qui-Gon repeated for the eight
time, staring down at his padawan who was feeding Anakin.
“I know master,
but please don’t worry, I’m just going to do some homework and
take care of Anakin. And eat.” He promised the latter, watching his
master relax ever so slightly.
Reaching out,
Qui-Gon ruffled the others hair lightly. “Alright.”
“Go spar master.”
He smiled up at the man. “Enjoy some activity. I’m sure master
Tahl and master Micah missed you and while I had a good challenge out
of sparring with you, you didn’t with me.”
“You sell
yourself too short Obi-Wan.” Qui-Gon squeezed his shoulder then
stepped back. “But fine, I’ll be back for dinner.” He gave his
padawan one last searching look then disappeared out the door.
The instant in
closed, Obi-Wan’s shoulders sank before he slumped off to the couch
and sat down, filling his time with his homework.
Force he wanted
this to not have happened.
He wanted things to
go back to normal and stop having his master and all the older
members of the order look at him like he was a second away from brea-
A soft little whine
caught his attention after about an hour and Obi-Wan sighed but got
up obediently and moved to the crib, picking up the little blond and
tucking him to his shoulder. “So, hungry or dirty?” He questioned
lightly while rocking Anakin.
But the moment he
was snuggled up, Anakin quieted down and cooed up at Obi-Wan.
“…Okay, company
then.” Obi-Wan shrugged and took the babe with him to the couch,
settling down with the baby on his lap, still trying to get some work
done even with the child physically there…in his arms…reaching
for him, tiny hand wrapping around one of Obi-Wan’s fingers.
Oh…
Obi-Wan blinked and
looked down at Anakin, eyes growing wide slowly as he felt the babe
reach out to him through the Force.
Anakin loved him.
Obi-Wan stared down
at the little creature on his lap, eyes widening slowly as the tiny
hand clenched on his finger.
This little soul
utterly, fully and completely adored Obi-Wan and had, with limited
understanding, sought him out in the Force.
Slowly and in
disbelief, Obi-Wan reached back, his homework pad forgotten as he
used his free hand to gently rub Anakin’s stomach. “…How can
you love me? You’re just…you’re so little. All I do is make
sure you’re clean and feed.” He whispered, shaking a bit.
Unconsciously he
continued to rub the little belly covered by fabric.
“How can you love
me when I don’t even love myself?” Obi-Wan shuddered then lifted
Anakin up, tucking the other to his shoulder and nuzzling at the soft
hair.
Quietly he started
to cry against the soft fabric of Anakin’s onsie, taking in the
gentle powdery smell of baby and the scent of milk that they feed him
and soon a well of tears were soaking into the baby’s clothes as
Obi-Wan couldn’t seem to stop it, holding Anakin tightly to him.
“How am I suppose
to give you up if you love me?” He choked out and Anakin gave a
soft cooing noise and nuzzled at his carrier before he whimpered in
response to Obi-Wan’s straining emotions. “Oh baby, oh no, its
okay.” Obi-Wan gasped out between his ears, promptly shielding
himself. “Its okay, its okay…I promise its okay.” He rocked the
other slowly by rocking his own body, trying to work around the sobs
that wanted to escape him in wild bursts.
How was he suppose
to give up Anakin to the creche when the little boy loved him with all he could?
()()()
Carefully lifting
the others legs up on the couch, Qui-Gon sighed quietly as he watched
his sleeping padawan. ‘What happened while I was gone?’ He
wondered as he took in the tear stains on the others face and Anakin
wrapped protectively against the others chest, Obi-Wan’s arms
possessively wrapped around the equally sleeping child.
“Qui?” Tahl
whispered.
“…I need to
make sure he goes to the mind healers.” Qui-Gon sighed quietly then
lifted a blanket off the back of the couch and settling it over the
two sleeping kids.
“That you do.”
She agreed with a soft, worried sigh.