Resisting the urge to shuffle his feet nervously in the artificially
lit room, Obi-Wan blearily peered at the council, hoping his eyes
weren’t bloodshot.

He
suspected that they were but if asked, he’d claim a few bad nights
with visions… hopefully that would be enough for the council.

And it
wouldn’t strictly be a lie, he did have trouble sleeping, despite
gaining some succor from his training bond with Anakin.

Speaking
of Anakin…

The
boy was nowhere to be found and Obi-Wan could feel his worry and
anxiety spiking even as he tried not to react to much to the
evaluating stares of the council at all sides. He could still feel
his padawan of course, but it was slightly muted, as if Anakin was in
range of a blocker.

He
wanted to go find his padawan but first he had to deal with whatever
the council wanted.

And
Force, he hoped that didn’t mean a mission already.

Finally,
Master Depa cleared her throat and sat forward. “Knight Kenobi, are
you aware of why you’ve been summoned?” She questioned, her voice
steady… and gentle.

As if
Obi-Wan was a spooked animal, the kind of voice Qui-Gon had used with
injured animals he wanted to care for.

The
voice sent an unexpected stab through Obi-Wan, his mind aching and
his insides twisting with pain.

But he
didn’t voice that, instead inclining his head. “I’m not certain
masters, as far as I’m aware, I’m not to be sent on any missions
just yet.” Obi-Wan stated, the unvoiced, ‘I have a padawan, I
can’t leave yet.’ lingering obviously in his voice.

The
members of the council exchanged looks and Obi-Wan had to swallow
another spike of nerves.

Was
this about Anakin maybe?

Had
the council decided to change their mind?

Force,
Obi-Wan wasn’t sure he could handle if they took Anakin away from
him.

He
knew it was bad to lean on the bond so much for the support he needed
but the abrupt death of Qui-Gon had not given him any chance to sever
their bond properly.

Instead
what had happened was that their bond had been ripped apart,
not just breaking Obi-Wan’s shields but tearing at his soul and it
was a miracle in itself that Obi-Wan was sane, especially after
touching the dark side only moments after the bond between master and
padawan had started to shred.

Obi-Wan’s
mind was literally inflamed, infected in a manner, and the only balm
so far was Anakin, the boy like cool ice to his mind and Anakin
seemed to understand.

It
gave Obi-Wan bit of relief to try and work on the shredded bond and
to try and cauterize the edges of it so to speak.

“Knight
Kenobi, please lower your shields.” Master Windu suddenly stated.

Unable
to stop himself, Obi-Wan jerked back half a step before gathering
himself, staring at the master of the order in shock before quickly
shaking his head. “Masters, I’m not sure what this is about but
that is an inva-”

“Obi-Wan,”
Yoda’s old voice broke in, green eyes focusing on the old troll as
he stared sadly at him, ears twitching slowly as the cane rested over
his lap. “Know we do, healthy you are not. Your bond, ruined it is.
Strength from your padawan you should not get.” The old troll
croaked.

Feeling
panic climbing up his throat, Obi-Wan opened and closed his mouth
before shaking his head more weakly. “Masters, I’m dealing, I
promise it’s not so bad tha-” Master Plo stood smoothly from his
seat and approached Obi-Wan.

And
for every step the kel dor took, the human backed away until his back
hit the door of the council chamber, his shoulders shaking heavily.

He
realized his actions were unreasonable, that the council didn’t
want to hurt him.

But
his mind was buzzing with how disappointed they would be that he
couldn’t manage to deal with his broken bond. He was a Knight for
Force sake, the Sith Slayer! He should be able to handle such a thin-
a gentle hand cupped his cheek, claw tipped fingers gently stroking
at his temple.

Trembling,
Obi-Wan stared wide eyed at Plo, the other man smiling sadly. “It
is alright young Obi-Wan. You can lower your shields, we won’t let
your pain drown you, nor will we judge you for carrying pain.” He
stated.

Swallowing,
his hands grasping at the smooth, cool door behind him, Obi-Wan
licked at his dry lips. “I- I can’t…” He wheezed.

“You
can,” Plo assured, still stroking at his temple with his thumb. “I
know you can Obi-Wan. A Jedi is not to be attached, but we are not
emotionless and Qui-Gon was your master. You are allowed to grieve
Obi-Wan.” The council master murmured in that soft, even tone, ever
so slightly coaxing.

To his
mortification, Obi-Wan could feel tears building in his already
bloodshot eyes and before he knew it, a harsh hiccup escaped his
throat, his shields crashing down around him as he reached out for
Plo.

He
found himself welcomed, the arms moving to hold Obi-Wan up against
Plo’s chest again. “That’s my boy, there you go Obi-Wan, you’re
doing good my boy. Just let it go.” Plo murmured, Obi-Wan
helplessly crying into the others chest, the scent of dorin gas and
tea mixing on the other man’s robe.

Caught
up in his release, Obi-Wan didn’t even put up a fight as Plo
gently, but firmly inserted a block between him and Anakin, making a
door where there before was a light switch.

“Now
you will heal Obi-Wan Kenobi and the first step of your healing is to
grieve.” Plo stated quietly, holding Obi-Wan up as his knees
buckled under him.