For all that the troopers love their Jedi and their odd feline
behavior, there are times when they desperately wished they didn’t
have them.

Like
the time Depa Billaba had leapt across a battlefield, her long braids
flowing in the wind as she eagerly descended on a shiny spot on the
ground, reflected off the CIS weapons and it had taken the troopers
five hours to ensure every fucking clanker that saw it was dead
and couldn’t report on it.

Or the
time they had spent half a day looking for commander Tano, only to
find the young togruta curled up on top of a shuttle, sprawled out in
a warm sunny spot. None of them had thought to look up at that
time.

And
then there was the infamous Vos VS Fisto incident, two passive
aggressive Jedi, the last thing the troopers had ever expected
seeing, taking potshots at each other by slapping each other
every half hour to full hour and making sniping comments.

That
had been legendary and praise be whoever managed to get that on
camera for the vode to see, because that had been epic and made a lot
of young shiny’s less frightened of the Jedi and more affectionate
by them.

But
that still didn’t mean they couldn’t wish that they didn’t have
those traits now and again to avoid certain situation.

And in
this moment, Fives desperately wished that his Jedi did not have
feline attributes because Fives needed to use the fresher real badly
or at least the closest bush.

But he
was currently pinned down as he had not one but two Jedi
sleeping on him.

Commander
Tano was laying with her head on his thighs, her silka bead braid
rustling slightly against his plastoid armored thigh, her breaths
slow and even. And General Skywalker curled against his side with his
head on Fives shoulder, his arms crossed over his chest with an
occasional mutter escaping him now and again.

He had
been hella proud to begin with when Tano had come wandering, sleepy
and clearly about to enter one of those feline fits the Jedi had. She
had eyed him and the sun he had been sitting in tending to his gun
and then shrugged, coming to sit down and use his thigh as a pillow.

General
Skywalker had come plopping down beside Fives about five minutes
after the commander, grunting grumpily.

And
since then they had both been sleeping.

And
Fives wouldn’t normally mind, however… he had been here for
closing in on four hours!

Hevy
had been kind enough to both give him water and food, Fives free hand
being able to feed him or pet at the Jedi at times.

But
food and water meant that after four hours, he really needed to use
the loo.

But
the Jedi were sleeping on him.

It was
an unspoken rule, just like when animals fell asleep on you, you did
not wake or move the Jedi.

It
just wasn’t done, they were asleep on you, trusting you and you did
not wake them damn it.

Not
that Echo was making this any easier on Fives honestly, as the other
could read him all to well and was standing there with a cup of caff,
slowly drinking, smiling at Fives before making a sssss noise with
his mouth.

“Oh
you bastard…” Fives hissed quietly, twitching a bit before taking
a deep breath when the General twitched and let out a soft mutter,
Senator Amidala’s name clear to them.

They
both ignored that in favor of staring at each other, Fives glaring
and Echo grinning broadly as he continued sipping at his caff.

“I
am going to slowly torture you, spoon your spine out with a rusty
spoon.” Fives threatened, keeping his voice low for the Jedi’s
sake.

If he
wasn’t going to wake them by moving, he wasn’t going to wake them
by shouting either.

Fives
was a good trooper, he cared for his Jedi and he cared for his vode
and therefore he was going to sit there and take it, even though he
was THIS close to actually pissing his own armor out.

‘Has
anyone else ever done that?’ Fives couldn’t help but contemplate
with horror, wondering if he was going to be the first trooper to go
down in history as peeing their own blacks and armor out.

Accident’s
could happen right before, during or even after battles of course,
even Captain Rex had admitted to that and there were incidents but no
one had wet themselves due to their General yet!

‘Fives,
the first trooper in history to go down as he wets himself with his
Jedi clinging to his sid-Oh Sithspit, they’re going to end up in
the puddle too!’ Fives realized with no small amount of horror,
staring straight forward.

With
that thought, the ARC trooper started praying.