Secrets
are unfortunately not meant to be kept forever.

But
Obi-Wan had hoped that the truth would come out long after he was
dead but hey, you can’t get everything you want. If you did, he’d
have a giant bottle of corellian whiskey right about now.

To
explain we have to rewind a bit, go back to the start of the war when
Obi-Wan stands and looks at these soldiers, these clones, that he is
suppose to lead and at the time he did not know how much he would
start caring for them.

The
Jedi collectively only has a sinking sensation as they betray all
their principles for the Republic, the peace keepers and negotiators
now general’s on active battlefields.

But
it is impossible to not care, these wonderful men and women that they
get to know, spend days and weeks and months in the field with…
fighting,
laughing, crying and being in peril with as they try to keep
surviving just another day, another week and another month after
those.

Keep
walking forward with each other.

Obi-Wan
does what he has always had issues with… he starts caring.

And
it is harrowing to realize that he can’t
not protect these soldiers, these people who are relying on him and
Obi-Wan feels his heart break and his soul shatter in that moment.

He
can’t protect them from this war, from the Senate, from the
Republic and not even from himself,
because they are all being pushed forward into this war and if the
Jedi said no… Force Obi-Wan doesn’t even want to know what the
Senate would do to them.

Obi-Wan
has seen the writing on the wall, he has seen the way the wind blows
each and every time he has been to the Rotunda, has seen the
distrustful eyes and the whispered conversations behind hands when
he’s been to see Bail.

No,
Obi-Wan can not protect his troopers from the powers that sit above
them because he can’t even protect himself and it shatters him in
ways he knows will never be fixed, the awful realization that the if
the Senate called for it, the Republic would damage the Jedi.

The
shattering
must be visible, maybe obvious because Anakin gains an extra line on
his face every time he looks at Obi-Wan and Commander Cody is
practically plying him with tea and snacks while Helix, their medic,
fingers with various medical instruments.

But
there is no cure for this.

Not
yet at least.

The
end of the war would set a stop to it but right now Obi-Wan is busy
holding himself together as he is stretched ever thinner just as
every other Jedi out there.

Or
well there is one other solution but it’s not viable.

The
Jedi would never just leave,
abandon all those who needs a strong arm. If the Jedi just left, the
Senate would take that decision and make their own conclusion, would
call them traitors
to the Republic and Force knows where would be safe for the Jedi
after that.

Maybe
the wild space but that is not what the Jedi do.

That’s
not their goal in life, the Jedi’s job is for peace and justice, to
try and negotiate when all seems lost, to try and calm the raging
storms but their ability to do so has been almost severed.

And
so it all comes to a head.

It
was bound to eventually after all.

Obi-Wan
is hurting, he is aching, he has been tossed around the galaxy
spiritually and physically he’s been tossed around a battlefield by
karking bombs and droids, the holo crew following them for the news
footage getting some very ‘interesting’ footage of himself and
Anakin along with their men.

And
Anakin gets lost in the battle dim, in the noxious fumes and for a
heart stopping hour Obi-Wan is sure he’s lost his former padawan,
he is sure that this is it and Force, that wasn’t how it was
suppose to be!

Obi-Wan
would go first, beside Anakin, would keep his padawan alive and then
Anakin could follow when he’s old and gray and cranky.

Finally
the dim lifts a bit, a breeze waving the fumes away and there he is,
Anakin.

Anakin
bright and blazing in the Force, Anakin with a stream of blood on his
cheek but otherwise unhurt apparently as he limps his way towards
Obi-Wan, saying something as his eyes turn from humored to panicked,
talking faster now.

Obi-Wan
can’t quite catch it, he feels like he’s not quite in his body as
he holds loosely onto his deactivated saber and stares at the other.

Something
slips down his face, Anakin’s panicked face turning to dread as he
grasps Obi-Wan’s shoulders and that contact is reassuring, it is
grounding.

And
it’s all Obi-Wan needs for sounds to come back. “Obi-Wan please,
please stop crying. Oh Force, you have to stop crying… kark, kark.
E chu ta!” Anakin babbled and Obi-Wan blinked before looking down
at shimmering stones laying at his feet.

‘…Oh…
well that’s not good.’ He mused as
a holo drone flew around them, catching every second and therefore
seeing Obi-Wan’s utter break down for the few seconds it lasted.

But
more importantly, catching the kyber that he cries.

Uncertain,
Obi-Wan only stares at them in a considering way before letting out a
soft noise as Cody is suddenly there, the commander taking his saber
to hook it onto his own belt before taking Obi-Wan’s other side,
both trooper and Jedi guiding the redhead towards what is left of
their camp.

Anakin
is still talking, or well more like cursing and Obi-Wan feels very
exhausted as he wonders at the implication of this.

But
Cody and Anakin’s grip is reassuring and Obi-Wan can feel the 212^th
line up defensively behind him with the 501^st
keeping the holo crew at a distance.

And
so, exhausted, worn thin and still crying, Obi-Wan lets the darkness
slip in and stumbles into oblivion, headless to Anakin’s shout and
Cody’s arms wrapping around him to ensure he doesn’t fall on his
face.