Pausing,
Ben tilted his head a bit then turned towards the elevators of the
hanger, a soft noise escaping him. “Oh dear,” He murmured then
turned to Obi-Wan, his weathered face puzzled. “What have you done
now?”

Now,
Obi-Wan would like to be offended but he wasn’t quite sure why and
he almost had a feeling he knew what was going on as Ahasoka
blinked
in confusion between the two and
the elevator and
Asajj
squinted
suspiciously while the Rex and Cody paused, both inching towards
their blasters.

And
then Anakin stepped out of the elevator, other knights and a few
padawans jumping aside to
let him through because
Anakin looked mad
and determined,
their bags slung over his shoulders
and something in his hands as he marched towards them.

Narrowing
his eyes, Obi-Wan felt a cold sweat appear in the back of his neck.

Was
that his medication bottle?

He
took several now thanks to Ben and the future conditions they were
trying to combat but that looked like.

Obi-Wan’s
eyes widened. “Oh no.” He whispered in understanding, stepping
back and raising his hands. “A-Anakin.” He eeped out when the
knight closed the distance enough to hear them in the hanger.

“When
were you going to tell me this was important?” Anakin snapped out,
holding up the bottle for point. “You’re suppose to take these
daily.”
He growled out at him, eyes narrowing as he got right up in Obi-Wan’s
face.

Ben
was watching in something akin to amusement Obi-Wan noticed, the old
bastard smiling vaguely with his head tilted and if it wasn’t for
the Force addling then Obi-Wan suspects he would be laughing because
he would more clearly understand the situation. ‘We have two trolls
in the temple!’ He mourns even as he escapes Anakin by pulling back
and using a console as a shield between them. “Now, Anakin, this
doesn’t need to be a big iss-”

“BANT
EXPLAINED WHAT CIRCULATORY SHOCK WAS TO ME!” Anakin roared at him.

Oh
dear, Bant had given Anakin details, that wasn’t good. Opening his
mouth to try to defend himself Obi-Wan gets cut off as Anakin turns
and marches right over to Cody, grabbing the commander’s hand to
slap the bottle into it with a scowl on his face. “This is blood
pressure medication, he’s to take one after every
major meal time which means three a day. Make sure Helix knows what
early onset of Stewjoni blood pressure syndrome is.” Anakin turned
his head to glare at Obi-Wan.

Oh
dear, this was even worse, there was a reason Obi-Wan had given Helix
his edited medical file after all. “Now Anakin, why don’t we
speak about this like civili-”

“You
could have given yourself a heart attack,” Anakin said shortly,
cutting him off again, eerily calm now. “This stopped being a
civilized conversation when you started to endanger your life without
informing me so I could help you by either keeping spares or finding
other ways to help you. Now you don’t get a say anymore.” He
growled before
marching towards the shuttle with Rex and Ahsoka rushing after him.

For
a moment Obi-Wan thought that was it as he slowly slumped against the
console he had been using.

And
then Anakin called over his shoulder. “And I will
be looking into Stewjon specific conditions Obi-Wan! You’re not
getting out of this one!” His tone was sharp
and
pointed.

Blinking
at Ben and Asajj, Obi-Wan could feel cold sweat drip down his neck
before heading after Anakin up the shuttle ramp with Cody clearly
eyeing him with the pill bottle in hand.

Yawning
a bit and
clearly not wound
up at all after the previous display,
Ben toddled after everyone up the ramp.

Peace
and quiet if
slightly tense after Anakin’s declaration,
no one suspecting the words that would come out of the old man’s
mouth as Asajj marched like a lioness protecting her cub at his side.

“Did
you know that if you stick a candle up your ass, your natural body
heat will melt it to a soft point without it becoming a liquid and
the sphincter will cause it to snap off the rest of the candle if any
of it is outside your body?” Ben offered up. “Meanwhile the part
left inside your body naturally warps thanks to the warmth of the
body with the wax being so easy to mold when it’s that warm.”

Anakin
let out a choked noise while Obi-Wan looked like he wanted to sink
through the ground as the troopers
already strapped in stared
at them in shock. “Ben!” He gasped. “How do you know that!?”
He cried out in despair.

That
of course caused the old man to blink at Anakin, Asajj sporting a
pale, distantly horrified look on her already white face that
indicated she was trying not to imagine something and was failing.
“Oh, Quinlan suggested wax dildos when we were padawans… so
uncivilized and messy.” The
old man mused as
Asajj tugged him over to a seat and buckled him in with her lips
pursed.

Anakin
meanwhile turned to his former master, eyes wide as Obi-Wan peeked at
the other man over his hand. “Wax dildos?” He hissed.

“To
be fair, it was Quinlan’s idea and we were stupid teens, I had no
idea what our body heats would do to the wax.” Obi-Wan pointed out
weakly before sending Ben a slight glare for airing their dirty
laundry
but maybe he should be grateful as Anakin seemed to forget about the
pills.

Maybe
Obi-Wan should let it slip to Asajj that Quinlan liked to be spanked…

It
wasn’t like he could do anything towards Ben because, one, he was
old and it was also his secrets and two, Ben had no shame.

At
all.

At
least not about past indiscretions Obi-Wan had gotten up to.

Ben
just didn’t give a flying toss about them anymore and seemed to
enjoy shocking people when he was mentally clear.

It
brought him amusement.

The
troll.

Just
like Yoda.

Oh
no they had two
trolls.