Choosing,
how long ago was it since he had gotten to choose what to do with his
life instead of just drifting around in the galaxy after the tune of
someone else, like driftwood on the ocean and yet here Ben was,
sitting upright in the little Hall bed, staring at the window,
thinking.

Yoda
had left him to think.

Ben
could… choose.

Choose
to stay.

Choose
to leave.

Choose
to make an arrangement with the Jedi council so he could have
supplies if
he wished to live on the planet.

Tython
didn’t have to be his home even if Ben had gotten used to it.

But…

It
was a lonely existence.

Could
he stay in the temple? With the ghosts of his memories?

Yoda
had promised help, he could… recover?

‘And
then what?’ He wondered curiously, blinking slowly before reaching
for the green paper cup of water on the nightstand of the bed,
rubbing his sore chest. Ben had a hand print on his chest.

He
could guess how he got that and it made him breath out deeply and
slowly as he took small sips of water until the glass was empty
before refilling it and drinking more, needing the hydration.

A
stray thought crossed Ben’s mind, freezing him.

Anakin.

Would
Anakin even be born now that Ben was involved in the universe?

A
little pebble thrown in the pond made rings that slowly grew and
therefor what would change about the galaxy now that Ben was here, if
he stayed and interacted instead of stayed isolated in the library.

And
if Anakin was born, would Ben go out and find him and bring him to
the temple?

The
Jedi didn’t even know where he would find Shmi now, Anakin had
never talked about where his mother had come from before she landed
on Tatooine. The other had only mentioned how Gardulla the hutt had
owned them first and then lost them in a bet to Watto which was where
Qui-Gon had found them years later.

But
Ben knew that Shmi didn’t originally come from Tatooine and didn’t
arrive there until Anakin was at least born as she had carried baby
Anakin off the ship apparently or so Shmi had told Anakin and he
assumed she told her son the truth.

And
then another thought came.

Qui-Gon.

Qui-Gon
and Obi-Wan.

Could…
could Ben really leave?

Biting
his bottom lip, Ben sat the cup back down on the nightstand
as he mulled over that.

Leaving
Qui-Gon especially… the mere idea hurt.

And
Ben was so tired of hurting, he didn’t want to leave only to hurt
more and Qui-Gon, for all that he obviously cared about Ben and
enjoyed Tython, belonged to the temple and to Coruscant.

There
were so many pros and cons for all suggestions.

But
in the end… as the door opened to reveal Qui-Gon standing there
with a beautiful look on his craggy face with that large broken nose,
Ben decided that he was going to stay.

He
wanted to stay as Qui-Gon wrapped Ben in a tight hug, the man
murmuring a quiet praise to the Force in relief as he clung to the
redhead in his arms because maybe, just maybe he could heal here in
the temple.

Maybe
he could finally have a home again with people around him, people who
would care for him and worry about him.

And
just maybe they could prevent the fall of the Republic if Ben would
just… open up and share instead of hiding out on the edges of the
galaxy where he thought the fires of the galaxy might not touch him.

‘I
want to heal.’ Ben thought as he pressed his face into Qui-Gon’s
shoulder, feeling the warmth of the others body.