They’ve
only just stepped off the ship when an unsettling feeling shivers
down Qui-Gon’s spine, his aching hand clenching on his bag strap as
he glances at his equally tired teenage padawan, Anakin dragging his
feet as he follows beside Qui-Gon.

He
tries to shake it.

Post
mission stress, it was a hard one, especially on Anakin as they
encountered a child smuggling slavery ring and its strained them
both.

They
are both in requirement of sleep, of
showers or outright baths. They
both need food and Force Qui-Gon needs to cuddle with Obi-Wan because
honestly this mission has been crap.

The
thought makes him pause, headache throbbing at his temple that seems
to be growing.

The
shiver comes back even stronger and Anakin looks up at him, blinking
in confusion and opening his mouth only to be cut off as a female
voice calls for Qui-Gon.

Turning,
Qui-Gon blinked as he saw Knight Bant, one of Obi-Wan’s knight
friends.

The
shiver was full blast back, fear curdling in his stomach as she raced
over to him with glossy eyes, the sign of tears on a mon calamari.
“Master Qui-Gon!” She paused in front of her, slightly out of
breath as she tried to gather it. Then she hesitated, staring up at
him with large eyes for several long minutes, seemingly floundering
for words.

The
sour curdling was making it hard for him to breath, this situation
was too…

“…Bant?”
He whispered shakily.

Her
face fell, her double eyelids blinking as she looked between the two
before she let out a shuddering breath and pulled the world out from
under Qui-Gon and Anakin. “I’m so sorry Master Qui-Gon, but
Obi-Wan’s mission… it went wrong… Obi-Wan is dead.” She
whispered out, big
fat tears appearing in her large eyes.

Qui-Gon
stared at her, hearing Anakin snap out denials at her but… that
headache, that headache that had been plaguing him for days that he
couldn’t quite figure out but brushed aside as exhaustion and lack
of fluids.

Slowly
Qui-Gon shifted his shields to reach for the pairbond between himself
and Obi-Wan.

Emptiness.

He
didn’t notice himself fall, didn’t feel himself hit his already
tender knees on the temple hanger floor, didn’t hear either Bant or
Anakin cry out in alarm.

All
he could focus on… was the emptiness where Obi-Wan was suppose to
be, where he had been for the last four years since they initiated
the heart pairbond when Obi-Wan was thirty one and a fully fledged
knight well away from any influence Qui-Gon could have had on him so
no one could accuse them of indecency or Qui-Gon abusing the powers
he once had over Obi-Wan as his master.

Empty.

()()()

There
is no body.

The
other knights on the same mission couldn’t retrieve the body.

The
two warring factions had unleashed an avalanche and while trying to
evacuate civilians Obi-Wan had been swept away.

So
they burn no body but hold a memorial yet as Qui-Gon leans heavily on
Anakin’s shoulder.

The
sixteen year old has been mute since they were told but has tuck to
Qui-Gon’s side like a bur, offering his silent and continued
support and Qui-Gon can not really say anything as he has not said
anything either.

They’ll
be pulled from active missions for months, Qui-Gon knows this but it
is a numb feeling of knowing.

It
is standard practice however with bonded pair.

As
Obi-Wan’s former master and his heart bonded, his husband,
Qui-Gon should give his own speech but he can’t. It is too much for
his heart in this moment to stand and speak about Obi-Wan when the
pain spreads from his heart to every part of him and Qui-Gon knows
that the council is watching him, the mind healers are watching him,
Anakin
is watching him but he can not bring himself to care.

For
Obi-Wan is not watching him.

Slowly
raising the hand not on Anakin’s shoulder, Qui-Gon fisted it in his
tunic above his heart.

Empty.

It
does not occur to anyone that Obi-Wan gets found after the avalanche.

It
does not occur to anyone that Obi-Wan gets settled in a wooden box as
is the traditions of the planet.

And
for four years… Obi-Wan lays dead in his wooden coffin.